Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Weigh-in and Cowboys/Cowgirls

First things first!
Starting weight: 277
Last Weeks weight: 174
This weeks weight: 172.6
Weekly loss: 1.4
Total loss: 104.4

Second, when the weather makes a drastic change my band just basically zips shut. So it is full liquids for me today. Only problem? I have a date tonight to attend a Christmas party... I feel like I should attach a hashtag and say something like #banded problems or #single and banded. BAHAHA

And now... pictures!

My beautiful sister Makayla and I!  
Squishy and his amazing bride, Amanda. 

One of my favorite cowboys- Clark and I, the before the actual event, event.

Cowboy and Cowgirls all purdied up for a a night out:) 

Monday, December 17, 2012

One of those days

For me, the begining of this journey started because of a few select "moments." Isn't it amazing that of all the millions of moments we live each day, some could change our lives so much. The moments for my weightloss journey were not big, lightening didn't strike, my doctor didn't tell my I was going to die. Nothing. One thing that did happen was this day: 
I'm the second rider from the left. In a gray hat. This day I was uncomfortable in my clothes. Even my skin felt tight. I didn't hardly fit in the saddle anymore... and don't even get me started on how hard it was to mount. I was embarassed of myself. I was uncomfortable and I wanted to NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. I couldn't wait to be done. This is one of those MOMENTS that changed my life forever. 
Approx. 2 months before banding.
I weighed about 277 

Now this is the difference a year can make. In this picture (not very flattering because of the huge sweater) but really, I feel so good! I spent the entire Spring/Summer remembering all the reasons why I love ranching and love horses. Approx. 10 months after banding. I weighed around 177.
The brown sweatshirt from the first picture and the orange one from the second are the same size... just for a refrence.

What was one of your moments?

The Wedding

My brother Squishy and his amazing fiance Amanda got married Thursday 12/13/12, the reception was 12/14/12. I had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid and it was SO MUCH FUN!

Dancing, laughing, woderful people~ truly a fun night and a night to remember.

I only have a cell phone picture... and the lighting stunk!

Here it is:

Size medium dress! I wish the picture showed better the AWESOME-NESS of the spray tan.

We also wore "One size fits all" leggings- which not so long ago would of been a lie!

Another Monday in the books!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday

Start: 277
Last week: 174.8
This week: 174.0

Week loss: .8

Total Loss: 103

The weekends are still my biggest issue. Just going to keep on keepin' on. The 150's are calling my name!

The Wedding is tomorrow. Stay tuned for pictures and... this girl got a spray tan! It looks awesome and like I just got back from a 2 week vacation to somewhere warm!

Do something today that even surprises yourself.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Pleasure Cirlce and picture comparision

My friend Vanessa posted this question today, and it kinda got me thinking.

Please share with us what your pleasure circle is filled with, minus food. What are the things in your life that you use to fill yourself with love, happiness, joy, peace, comfort, motivation, inspiration, courage, hope, power, and satisfaction?

What is in my pleasure cirlce? 
Family, running (when my mind is in the right place,) my religion, friends, horses/cows....

My problem isn't that my pleasure cirlce isn't full, it is very full- over flowing maybe- the problem is, when something goes wrong in my pleasure cirlce, I still want to turn to food for comfort. THE COMFORT isn't there. Food can not fill voids, heal relationships, change out comes, make me tall or rich. Food doesn't fix anything- unless it is real hunger. 

This is what I struggle daily. 

So I ask you the same question: What is in your pleasure cirlce? And what do you do to when something goes amiss in your pleasure cirlce to keep from turning to food? 

Thursday, December 6, 2012


1. When I'm good, I'm good. Seriously. Why can't I just be a middle of the road kind of girl? (Especially when it comes to this food business- 80/20 people.) In turn, when I fall off the wagon, I fall hard.

Luckily, this girl is driving the wagon. Kicking butt and taking names. Hitting the 150's ASAP.

2. I'm ready for some Christmas vacation.

3. I've been battling the question "do I need a fill?" I think I'll know better after a few more days with my head in the game.

4. My brother is getting married next week. I'm excited for the event. We are going to have a good old time. We get to wear cowboy boots!

5. I am back to running. It hurts, but it is so good.

6. I am doing awesome with the water drinking and the calorie counting... it is amazing that it always works:)

7. I have no idea how to do it... but I'd really like to pay someone or something to redesign my blog...

8/9/10: I'm all out of things to write ladies!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A little accountability-

First of all- did you see the loss from Vanessa over at Athena Banded Warrior? That lady is a bad-A and she is curshing her new game plan. Her comparison pictures will also make you want to be her when you grow up- or maybe that is just me? want to be a warrior just like her.

It takes me a long time to get my head in the game... even after my body is shouting that I need to.

The last couple of days (ok, ok two) have been on track:) Gotta start somewhere.

Last week: 174.4
This week: 174.8

Gain of .4

I'm going to take it and keep running. Monday morning the scale said 177.8 so I'm thinking my body is being a little silly. I'll shoot for a loss next week.

Get out there and kick some A today!

Monday, December 3, 2012


I'm heading out the door to spend the next 6 hours listening to someone present on something (see how prepared I am?!)

I'd much rather just spend the day teaching my awesome kiddos but alas, even I don't always get my way! :)

I'm a person that will eat all day because she is  bored at one of these silly things. So I've packed a few things to battle actual "hunger" and going to drink lots of water to fight the "i'm seriously so bored" fake hunger.

I'm packing fresh fruit, greek yogurt and some granola.

I'm going to stay off the ledge and see if I can pull it together for a loss this week.


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

1. Yesterday was a food day FAIL. Peanut M&M's for breakfast and it was downhill from there.
Today I will do better.

2. I have had a sinus infection from hell, which has impeded all of my "best laid plans" to exercise. Maybe I wouldn't have exercised anyway.

3. Anyone else have a hard time eating well when traveling? Eek... I swear I feel like it is a free for all. Believe me, the scale isn't saying "you are doing well, treat yourself." She is a flat chested whore any-who.

4. What happened to Ragnar girl that was going to run around the World, twice? Oh yeah, she came back to the frozen tundra that is her home from.

5. I have a $600 airline credit, where should I go? I'm thinking I should spend the first week of Summer vaca somewhere...

6. I'm thinking about the Holiday challenge that From Fabulous to Fit is hosting, but I ALWAYS blow challenges. Too much pressure? I don't know. This one might be different because it is just about losing weight. Not dictating what we CAN'T eat. That gets me in big-fat-trouble. I'll decided by tomorrow.

7. I need a new "exercise" something-something. Vanessa at Athena Banded Warrior is thinking about kickboxing. Sometimes I hate living in small-ville. The exercise class times are so limited.

8. I'm going to do an entire post about exercising at 5:30 in the morning.

9. "The Wedding" is quickly approaching and not only have I not LOST weight like I had hoped... I've gained a bit.

10. I hope we get 10' of snow here soon. If it is going to be colder than frosted blue monkey balls. I DEMAND snow. There, I have asked the Universe for what I want, and incase it wasn't clear here it is in bullet form.
  • I want to be 150 pounds. (Yesterday)
  • I want 10' of snow. (Before February.)
  • I want a 6'5" man to sweep me off my feet. (For Christmas.)
Good luck today you beautiful ladies!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Accountability Wednesday!

Here it goes. Time to drop 14.7 pounds before the new year.

Challenge start weight: 174.6
Todays weight: 174.2

Goal: 159.999
Loss: .4

Pounds to go: 14.3

There is a certain "good feeling" that comes with accountability!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Tuesday- a day for thoughts and commitments

Are you bored with life? Then Throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you thought could never be yours. Dale Carnegie

First up… confession. I weigh 174.6- EEK. Anything over 170 is an oh-crap number.

I wanna weigh 159.999 by the first of the year.

My friend Vanessa inspired me to get my sh*t in a group and get to gettin’.

My clothes are a constant reminder that I’m not longer in the mid-160’s. I don’t like it.

I have felt discontent with my own life, especially my personal life. So I’m going to keep on keeping on. Fake it till ya make it.

Why can’t things just go how I have them planned in my head?


Not only am I recommitting myself, along with many other great bloggers out there, but we all deserve a pat on the back (thanks Vanessa for reminding me that we need to give ourselves a pat on the back once in a while)  for doing it during the holiday season.

My commitment:

·         Regular Wednesday weighing- even when the numbers hurt- or maybe especially when they do.

·         I am back to blogging, even if it is nothing exciting.

·         Regular exercise and reporting daily, I am going to get back to this being a habit.

·         Protein first and PACK A LUNCH FOR HECK SAKE!

I am getting to goal, because I know I can.

29.4 pounds to go for that goal, time to head the right direction.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Ragnar recap

Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you – Caroline Myss

36 hours in a van. Run, eat, sleep?.. 

What a good time. 

This experience really changed my life. Changed how I view my body and myself. Made me realize that I am powerful that I can do anything I decide to. That I am no longer watching life from the sidelines. 

I am strong.

That being said, it was hard. 
(If you aren't interested in a crazy, long-ish race recap skip the rest of this and know the race was awesome.)

So, we got in a van and drove to Las Vegas (9 hours).

Checked into our motel and tried to sleep didn't really happen becasue I was too nervous about "what I had got myself into."

The next morning we got in that van travelled to the meeting spot and had our "team meeting." 

I was in van 2 so we would have a few hours before we started running.

Our van started running that evening- as runner 9 I was the third one out for our van. It was way colder than I expected it to be in Las Vegas and was glad that I had bought a new running jacket, boy did I ever need it. 

My first run was labled "easy" and was only 2.9 miles so I really thought it would be the easiest one for me and would be a good "start" to this crazy race I had signed up for. 

I'll be danged if it wasn't just getting dark when I started running, the wind was blowing in my face most of the way and it was ALL FREAKING UP HILL! 

I'm telling you I had to give myself a major pep talk, and if there hadn't been 11 other people counting on me I would of quit right then and there. 

I just knew that I wouldn't be able to complete my other "legs" that were labeled moderate and hard if the "easy" one about killed me off. I finished that run at my scheduled 12 minute mile pace. It was hard. My lungs were on fire. My spirit was pretty low. 

What I will tell you is that my next run happened at about 4 am. It was freezing cold and I was determined. 

It was easier. Mostly because mentally I had decided that there was no way in hell I was going to quit. I also beat my "pace."  

I accomplished something this weekend I only thought was a dream. 

Our race lasted about 36 hours. We had very little sleep, didn't make the best food choices, and had a BLAST! 

Can't wait for the next one and too see what else I can accomplish in this "new life" I have.

It isn't your job to like me, it is mine. Byron Katie  

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Badge of honor

Everyone asks me about lose skin. Some people even obsess over it, asking me multiple times.

I've been known to just let them have a look.

Whats the alternative? Staying fat? If you have ever said to yourself "I'd rather be fat than have a little extra skin." Well, then I'd say you need evaluated by a professional.

Here is the dealio natives; there isn’t one person that my loose skin bothers more than me.

I get to see it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I shower with it, look at it in the mirror. Eek! You don’t want to know the details! … It is always there reminding me of all the damage that I did to my body. Now, considering that I have shed 110 pounds, it just isn’t that bad. Unless I bend a certain way, or purposely try and see how silly I can make it look (you are welcome for the visual.)

In fact I kind of consider it a badge of honor. All that skin used to be filled with fat.  It isn’t anymore.

I’m alive. I’m moving. I’m making more good food choices than bad.

I may never drop another pound. I plan on it, but if I don’t, it is ok.

I may never be completely comfortable with my body.

I’ll probably never have plastic surgery and if I do it won’t be for a long time. I plan on having babies at some point in my life and not just one or two.

I’ll never regret weight loss just because of a little droopy skin or the fact that I may never have a six pack, or be that girl that struts around in her bikini completely comfortable that her body is perfect.

I’m working on loving myself and plan on finding someone that will love my body just the way it is. Even if it isn’t perfect, because let us be honest even those who haven’t ever lost 100+ pounds, well they have things that aren’t perfect as well.

This is my journey, my body, my health.
The droopy skins is just one of the reminders. :)

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The best NSV EVER- if I live...

I agreed to run the Las Vegas Ragnar.

Don't know what a Ragnar is? Read about it HERE
*Seriously AWESOME. 

I haven't been formally training... I just agree to be on a team last Thursday (they got desperate for another runner.)

I am so EXCITED. 

12 people

2 vans

Sleeping where ever, smelling how ever. SIGN ME UP! 

and the most important part... the sticker for the car window and a Ragnar jacket! 

I'll probably be the slowest person on the team, I don't care. 

My 3 legs together are almost 17 miles... eek. 

Still excited:) 

If I live, you'll get a full report! If I don't, know I went out as a badass and give the car sticker to Holly (I promised her.) 


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Weigh-in day

It is that day again... :) 

Start weight: 277
Todays weight: 167
Last week: 167 (I think) 
Total loss:110

I'm doing well, sure hope everyone else is too! 

Friday, October 26, 2012

20 pounds heavy.

I've turned into that person that complains about having 20 pounds to lose. There was a time not very long ago that I would have been CRAZY giddy over ONLY having 20 pounds to lose. I would look at people and think it is just 20 pounds get going.

You can't talk the weight off.

You have to do something.

I will. I am. On it. Does anyone have a rope to tie up the sugar deamon? EEK!


Saturday, October 20, 2012


I guess I really just don't know what to post.

Nothing has changed.

I still weigh 167 something.

What should I post about?

My sister and I got a pig.

I still want to lose 20 pounds.

I'm still not doing what I need to do to get there.

I know what I need to do.

My friend Miki is running her first 5K today! Good work my friend. You are running circles around everyone that is on the couch. Be proud of yourself!

I've got awesome accountability partners (Vanessa, Miki, Emily! These girls rock.)

I gotta get my shit together, and even as I wrote that I thought *Maybe Monday.* What is wrong with me?

Really, life is good and though I want to lose 20 more pounds and I will (I know how) I spent yesterday and the day before hanging out with awesome people and feeling great in my clothes, in my skin, and NOT having to huff and puff across the feed yard.

This is what the banded life is about for me. LIVING. Feeling comfortable, moving. It isn't the same as watching that scale go down every week (MAN THAT IS REWARDING.) It is about not letting weight hold me down anymore. It is about never going back to this spot:

I still remember how miserable I was this day. NO MORE!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


I'm doing my TTT tonight, because I've got a crazy busy day planned for tomorrow.

1. Tomorrow is the last day of that training... yahoo! I will not eat one single cookie tomorrow. I will not.

2. Shout out to my friend Miki. Got me out the door after a long a$$ day and to the gym.

3. I'd like to thank my legs and lungs for packing me over 3 miles tonight after I've neglected them for far too long.

4. I got a some serious blisters from said run.

5. I can't believe how good exercise makes me feel... why-oh-why do I let it slip from my routine?

6. I'm spending the weekend chasing cows, I'll think of you Vanessa!

7. I had an epiphany today... I start avoiding things like running or exercise in general because I think that I have to start over just because I got lax for a day or two for four weeks.  Let me explain. When I started "running" it was at 45 sec intervals and I felt like death, it was hard. It wasn't very much fun and it was very painful reminding me of all the days in 6th grade gym class. Any time I get off course I automatically think back to that pain. I think that I will have to start there again. The truth is I DON'T HAVE TO START OVER. Even if I take a step or two back, if I put on a pound, even 10 pounds, I am not the girl I was when I started this journey. I have knowledge and that knowledge is POWER. I am not perfect, but I am powerful.

8. Did you read this article that LBG posted? If you didn't, do... go... now... it changed the way I think about my band. Yep, 16 months post-op and I finally pinpointed what I've been trying to figure out.

9.  What songs are on our play list for work outs?

10. Now I'm just "groping in the dark" (this is seriously something the presenter said today and it was all I could do not to giggle like the 12 year old girl I still am on the inside) to get 10!

Things change...

I kind of thought I was done with NSV's it just kind of seemed like I am living the new "norm" for me and the new stuff just wasn't there anymore.

Guess what? One happened... TODAY!

I've been attending a conference for the past two days. Tomorrow is the last day.
The first day I completely let my boredom get the best of me and I pretty much ATE my way through the day. Some of it premeditated because I took the  stuff crap food with me. The other, well it just happened because the food was there and available.

Last night I identified was was different. I am no longer a "sitter" just sitting around all day is no longer what I WANT, it is hard. I fidget, I wiggle, I doodle, it is just darn near impossible for me to just sit.

Who knew? It used to be one of my favorite activities.

No longer.

I may not be at goal, but I have come so FAR!

Weigh-in today was 166.8 or some such thing. Nothing to get too excited about, but at least it isn't going up! :)

Monday, October 8, 2012


I'm going running tonight. Even if it kills me.

If it doesn't, will someone please hold me accountable?


Thursday, October 4, 2012


1. I gotta sacrifice some sleep unless I want my belly to enlarge.

So true it is painful.
3. When I start to feel like my life is out of control. That I am not accomplishing anything. That nothing is working out, I realize that I'm focusing on all the things that I can't change. All of those things that are out of my control. Then, when I refocus, do what I can do: make pretty good food choices, WORK OUT (with intensity), then I find happiness. My heart is peaceful and I am content.

4. Sometimes people are so STUPID they can't find their ass with both hands. DRIVES ME CRAZY! 

5. I had Reeces for breakfast. No joke.

6. I've been letting other "drinks" float back into my life. I won't let this become a habit.

7. I really want to take all of my cash and buy new clothes. 

8. I won't do number 7 because I am seriously boring for my age. 

9. I will leave you with some pictures from my summer adventures. 

10. (Just for Brock) 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


167- same as last week, same as the week before.

:) At least it isn't going up. I need to increase the exercise!

Saturday, September 29, 2012


I'm always jealous of Vanessa at Athena Banded Warrior when she posts her beach pictures. So I thought I would do my own version!

~Lovin' this day!

Friday, September 28, 2012

A slap, skinny jeans and LBG

Last night I texted my friend, Wendy Winn that teaches some early morning fitness classes in her hometown. I said something like

"I need you around to kick my butt in one of those early AM classes you teach, I'm slacking." 

Her response?


Me: "I'm going to. No more excuses."

Her: "Good job. Excuses are for lazy people and that's not you."

Just what I needed. "Not a you can do it", or a "you've came so far." Just a "You are being lazy, that isn't who you are. STOP IT."

Today the scale was at 165... which we have been flirting with for months now. So this is me telling you. By October 31's I will be in the 150's.

Lap Band Gal thank-you so much for leading the way. When I read your Friday weigh-in post today, I just realized that it will always be a lot of work, but my goal weight is attainable. I will get there.

Tonight I wore skinny jeans to a dinner party thing-a-ma-bob. I felt great.

THE DRAGON Warrior is back. No more excuses. I will kick this weight in the butt!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dragon Butt... TTT

1. This girl has seriously got to rearrange some things in her life.
This is how my week goes.
Monday-Friday I teach 8-4. (Really I get there at 7 and stay until at least 4, usually longer.)
        *My niece goes to the school I'm teaching at and because it isn't her neighborhood school we are in charge of transportation, which I love, but it takes extra time every night to run her home...

Monday night from 5-10 I work as a clerk at a motel.
Tuesday nights I don't have anything "formal" planned, but life just happens. (This Tuesday I had dinner with a friend at 5 and then tried on bridesmaid dresses at 7.)
Wednesday's I have church meetings.
Thursday's I work at the motel again, 5-10.
Friday nights I usually don't have planned... but at this point the only thing I want to do is sit on my butt.
Saturday's I work on the ranch.
Sunday's I devote to church meetings and trying to recharge my batteries.

2. The way I have my life set up right now I am seriously NO FUN! I also make excuses about exercise. I have got to fix it. Somehow.

3. Most ironic part? I can live on my salary without any of the extra money. I just don't. I like to put money in savings. I like to pay double car payments. Make home improvements. Whatever.
Really, I'm not willing to compromise my new found health and my continued health for a little extra money. I'm committing to exercising 5x's a week. NO EXCUSES. Remember this girl: Excuses?

4. Why is ice cream so good?

5. I think I may need a smidgen added to my band.

6.  Seriously need to work on the leg weights so that I can rock the cute bridesmaid dresses.

7. I get to buy new Cowboy boots for the dress. SO EXCITED. I think I found them.

8. I'm moving cows this weekend. Including tomorrow. I know, I know, more work... but really I love it and it will be a happy exhausted:)

9. Anyone else think it is terrible that I am 25 and really don't have a social life. Beyond the crazy schedule, I really just don't like the type of superficial relationships that come from the social scene. I'm just no good at it.

10. Something I've always tried to deny, and get over, that I have finally come to terms with? I don't like to watch movies. Especially in the theatre. Really nowhere though. If I am at home I have to have something else going on too.

10a. I just decided someone should marry me for my work ethic and sense of humor. :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I need a map...

You know how some people get the lap band and then say "I just forget to eat" or "I never get hungry." There have been times in my journey that I thought I was about there. 
Someone I love has the Lap-band... and that really is the case with her. She just never wants to eat. EVER! 

How does a person do it?

I don’t want to stop at 165, or 170… whatever the heck my weight has been the last week.

I want get to goal.

I want to weigh 145.

I want less belly fat!! It drives me freaking bat shit crazy.

Most importantly, I don’t want food to control my life. 

What happen to the girl who exercised every day? Who only drank water? Only water!

I want to eat to live.

I don’t know how to do it.

I know how to exercise. I know how to eat healthy.

I don’t know how to make sure I don’t wake up one day and say “to hell with it! I’m going to eat what I want, when I want.”

I’m lost. I kinda feel out of control.

Right now food is in control.

“It’s impossible” said pride.
“It‘s risky” said experience
“It’s pointless” said reason.
“Give it a try” whispered the heart. 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Weigh in

Start weight: 277
Last week: 168.4
This week: 167.2
Weekly loss: 1.2

Total loss: 109.8

Lowest weight: 162.6 (for like a day.)

I'm gonna keep on keeping on. Just like my friend the Warrior said HERE, we already know how to lose weight.

WE. HAVE. DONE. IT. Keep at it ladies. One ounce at a time.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Then and now...

227 (50 pounds down from my start weight)

166 pounds:)

Same Silly Silly dog!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Just Jump

Sometimes you have to be bold.

Take risks.

Just jump.

Even when you can't see the bottom.

Thats what I am doing today.

Will I land on my feet or face? No fear, I will report back!

"How we live our days, is how we live our lives." Annie Dillard.

Thursday, September 13, 2012


1. My Dave always says "sometimes all you can get done in a day is just surviving." I heard that. I'm just getting by for a day or two. No stressin', not much I can do about it.

2. I'm not good with change. I try to be. I pretend I am. I fake it until I make it. In reality it takes me a good couple of weeks to feel like I’m "on board,” especially when it is adding a new person to my life.

3. We are headed into fall "cow season." It is about to get crazy busy until the middle of October! YAHOOO!

4. I didn't go crazy yesterday after an epic weigh in. Maybe I am growing up?

5. I haven't been feeling well. To bed at 8, anyone? Oh, just me?

6. My students are amazing. They make me laugh and smile every day. Occasionally I have to ask myself "how do they come up with this stuff?"

7. I believe that the students in my class, though struggling in some areas academically, they have an uncanny ability to read people's body language. If you come in my room acting like you are about to get eatin' alive by mad monsters of the west coast, you are probably right. And I will sit back with some ice cream Greek yogurt and watch the show. If you are going to not like these awesome kids "just cuz" then I'm not going to help you out. These kids are the

8. Feels nice to semi have my head on straight over this weight loss business. Must be the routine I'm back in and all that jazz. I've kinda found my happy place again. I always know I'm in a good spot when I can eat just ONE cookie and be done. I learned about not excluding foods in "Lorie world" the hard way. IT WAS NOT PRETTY!

9. Everyone once in a while I want to be really unprofessional and roll my eyes when someone says something stupid. I always think of my Mom when she used to say "Your eyes are going to get stuck like that." Sometimes it stops me, sometimes it doesn't.

10. I realized just this week that I had started to be "more serious." I think that it was noticeable to me because it was a forced, unnatural change, like I just thought "alright lady, you need to grow up." Well, that isn't going to happen. I don't have the energy to be something I'm not and being serious is just too much dang work.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Weigh in Wedensday

Begining weight: 277
Last weeks weight: 172.4
This weeks weight: 168.2

Weekly loss of: 4.2 pounds
Total loss for the journey: 108.8

Victory dance.

This is also the day I report in about my challenge. We have to report in 4 categories.

Here they are:

1. Total physical points: 78/90
2. Total spiritual points: 90/90
3. % of weight loss: 2.38% (4 pounds)
4. Total points: 208

1 week into a challenge with points and such and it is the longest i've ever made it. Maybe this one will stick?

Thursday, September 6, 2012


1. I worked out twice yesterday and drank water like it was my job.
     *weights in the morning, and a run in the afternoon.
I went to the gym this morning too, just sayin'.

2. My muscles are crazy sore.

3. I had bacon for breakfast. Bacon and cheese! Yumm.

4. Getting out of bed in the morning has never been an issue for me.... unless I'm getting up to exercise, then I think it is negotiable? WTH? So, my brother (Squishy) and I have been keeping each other accountable. It has been awesome!

5. My GREAT brother Squishy is going to get my car ready for me to go out of town tomorrow.

6. I'm going to watch my Sister compete in the third day of a horse show, (Today is the first.)

7. There is a group of us bandsters that have been at it for a year + that each feel like we have 20-30 ish pounds to finish up this journey... maybe we should put together a challenge? Or a support group? Something.

8. I keep myself crazy busy, it is my own fault. It is how I've always been and it works. But since school started I haven't been able to turn my mind off and sleep. IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

9. The scale is slowly going down. I had hoped that some of the 6-7 pounds I gained in 4 days was water weight, or poop, or something, but alas, it was fat. Slowly sliding back down.

10. My lowest weight in, well, longer than I can remember (I remember very clearly putting my real weight on my drivers license, much to my mothers surprise and it was 190.)  So adulthood. Was 162, this summer. I'll get back there, then blow past it. I'm heading the the 150's who wants to go with me?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Weigh in

Man, I'm embarassed to post this (but I have always been honest in my weekly updates). Here it goes anyway...

Start weight: 277
This week: 172.4
Last week: 167.5

GAIN: 4.9 pounds. Down 2 pounds from yesterday.

Good news, I know how to get it off.

I'm going to get to the 150's. Yep, the 150's.

This is how:
I joined a "get healthy challenge." It starts today. There is money involved. It already beat my butt out of bed and to the gym this morning, so this just may work.
The get healthy challenge "report date" is conviently on Wednesday's. Isn't that nice? I thought so.
This is how it works, you get some points awarded daily for the following activities:
5 fruits/veggies- 2 pts.
No eating after 9- 1 pt.
48 ounces of water- 2 pts
No sweets- 4 pts. 1 sweet- 2 pts.
30 min exercise-5 points
Encourage another player- 1 pt
Read spiritually uplifting material- 15 min/daily 5pts
Daily prayer- 5 pts
(You can only count each of these 6 times in one week. Essentially giving you a 'free' day, but you don't have to take everything off in the same day.)

Then there are weekly points:
10 points per pound lost
maintain weight- 5 pts
gain weight -10 points per pound
Healthy BMI- 5 points
FHE- 10 pts
Attending church- 10points
Then there will be a weekly challenge worth addtional points.

Other news. My brother and his beautiful bride-to-be have moved the wedding date to December 13th. I may not be at goal by then, but I'm sure as heck not going to be in the 170's.
And yes, I am aware that this day isn't about me... really at all, but I will have to be in the pictures. :)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


So my brother, Squishy, got engaged. :)

She is adorable.

We love her.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid.

I'm estatic to say yes...

Now I need to get on the ball and get moving. I am going to be at goal weight for their wedding in April. 25 ish pounds. Totally doable.

This morning the scale was not kind to me, mostly because I ate the long weekend away. NO JOKE. Will I ever learn?

The scale read 174. WOWZER!

Guess we will see what the official damage is tomorrow.

I start a "healthy challenge" that a friend of mine is hosting. Starts September 5th and ends November 28th. Now in the past all forms of "points" and such backfired pretty harshly, so we will see how it goes. This time there is MONEY involved:) Of course I'd like to get my hands on some cash!

I'll post the rules and regulations later today!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Cookies for breakfast

What does it say about your day when you start it with cookies for breakfast?

Not the Greek yogurt and granola I had packed.

Not 1 cookie, 3.

And I skipped the gym.

Somedays I'm just no good at this healthy living thing.

You know something else I'm not good at? Not just saying "bag it" and eating whatever I want the rest of the day, just because I made a poor food choice.

I really should find AA for eaters.... wonder if they serve refreshments at the meetings?

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wednesday Weigh

Start weight: 277
Last weeks weight: 170.5
This weeks weigh: 167.5

Loss for the week: -3 pounds! Boooya!

Total loss: 109.5. We aren't going to talk about how one time this summer I was at 162. Nope. Just going to keep on keeping on. A 3 pound loss at this stage in the games is pretty dang awesome!

Work out Wednesday is finished. Weights and some cardio this AM with my little brother.

Monday, August 27, 2012

What does "full" feel like?

451 days after I had lap-band surgery (+/- 30 days).

 What it feels like, for me, to be full.
         When I am too tight, the food stays in the pouch for long periods of time. Sometimes making it      impossible to drink water even hours later. This is no good. It doesn't increase weight loss, it increases bad eating behaviors (i.e. searching out slider foods.) There is pain associated with eating, and I stay full for hours after I eat "normal" food. During this phase I DO NOT TOUCH BREAD, pasta or meat. I am really careful with salad, and even soft foods. Not pretty. (During this phase, my band and I are constantly butting heads.)
         When I am too loose I can eat mindlessly. I don't have to concentrate on chewing, and I am hungry within 1-2 hours after. I frequently want dessert, and seconds. I can eat bread without reserve, and pretty much everything else. (During this phase I ask myself "why isn't this working? Why does it just feel like I'm dieting again?" "I'm not sure I can do this.")
         When I am just right (which I have only discovered recently) I can eat what everyone else is eating, just in much smaller portions. I don't have foods/ food groups that I just completely avoid. I can eat all foods in moderations. I get full on 1 cup of food, plus or minus a little. If I am careful while I'm chewing, then I don't have problems. I can't eat mindlessly, because this leads to trouble.

During every fill level, I have to make wise, healthy food choices. The band does not, at any of these levels, prevent me from eating chocolate, ice cream, or from drinking more calories than I will burn in a day. It also doesn't do the exercise for me... which, if you haven't figured out yet, is a key to weight loss, even if you have the lap-band.

This is a learning process, and sometimes is it is painful, but what a great process!

Friday, August 24, 2012

10 things Thursday, or is it Friday?

I'm doing 10 things, because I don't think I can organize a "real" post.

1. Last night I had a pity party, not about weight loss (surprisingly).

2. I think #1 had to do with being emotionally and physically exahusted. Being an awesome teacher is hard stinking work.

3. At 11:30 last night my brother text and said we were going to the gym this morning.

4. At 5:00 this morning I text and told him I was too tired to go, I slept like crap.

5. He text back and said "30 more minutes of sleep isn't going to make you feel any better." Aint that the truth? Dang I hate when he is right. So I went, I felt alright.

6. I got all the way to school today (6:45) and realized I had forgot my yogurt and granola. Don't worry, I turned around and drove my happy butt home. It was yumm-o!

7. The scale was very kind to me this morning. I'm going to keep on keeping on.

8. I want to go on a horse ride tonight, or tomorrow. I will make this happen.

9. My insurance pays you for lowering your BMI... or so they say. I lowered mine 13 points last year. They are "supposed" to pay you $50 dollars everytime it goes down 5 points. This is the email I just recieved:
"The Weight Loss rebate in the amount of $100.00 was denied because: Amount exceeds the maximum allowed for this rebate." What bull is that?  I think "bull & shit" are the words I'm looking for. Oh, well what is a girl to do?

10. Do you ever realize that you blamed being fat for a lot of things it really had nothing to do with? Then as you become "average" size (or whatever) it hits you like a ton of bricks? Maybe that had something to do with last night too? *I really want answers to this one.*

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Weekly weigh... what?

How long has it been? I'm not going to even look. I don't remember what my last posted weight is... I'm not even going to look.

Already today I've had 40 ounces of water, and i'm chowing down on Yoplait Greek Yogurt. Only 100 calories and 10g protien. With some "touch of honey granola." It is scrupmtious.

Today is the first day for students to be back at school. I've been up since 3, eek. Wonder why I still get so nervous?


Todays weight: 170.5
Start wegiht: 277

Total loss: 106.5

I'm excited to be back to school. First because I love the students. Second, because I'm already back on schedule and eating better. No more ice cream brunches!

Have a good one ladies.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


The Habit Poem
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.

Half of the things you do you might as well turn over to me and I will do them - quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed - you must be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of great people,
and alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine though
I work with the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a person.

You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I? I am Habit.

It isn't credited to anyone, that I can find. So if anyone knows who wrote it, please tell me.  

Monday, August 20, 2012

Guess what my body fat is?

33.5 %.

Guess where it was last year?

49. 6%

Every year we do a Healthy Utah screening for our school health insurance. This is the comparison of 1 year.

BMI: 40 Obese:( (Duh)/ BMI 29.6
Body Composition (Body fat) 49.8 (DISGUSTING) / 33.5
Total Cholesterol: 154 (under 200 is good:) / 144
HDL Cholesterol 45 (low)/  58 (desirable range!) 
Blood Pressure 100/60 Normal / 102/68
Fasting glucose: 90 (under 99 is good) / 93 

Getting healthy ladies! 

On another note I'm officially back to school today... Good, great, bad and ugly, it is here! 

Friday, August 10, 2012

It just takes one step.

I went running (3 miles... 36 minutes, just call me Usain.)
I'm an sugar free today.

I'm am closer to where I want to be.

I feel alive.
My body feels amazing.

Why do I always think that when I get off the wagon I will need a ladder to get back on? Not the case. It takes one step. I may weigh in at a whopping 170.8 (today, YIKES) but i'm not back to 277. I don't have to start over. I just have to take ONE SINGLE STEP.

So today I am 25.8 pounds away from my goal weight.

It is a heck of a long ways from the 132 pounds I needed to lose when I started this journey.

Lap Band Gal, I just now understand "there is no finish line."

And, just to show you want a girl that lost a little weight can do:

Weight limit 240~ I missed that by 70 pounds! :)

When the weight is no longer holding me down, I find out it wasn't always about the weight to begin with.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I'm going to run until I remember.

There are a lot of challenges going around. Fitness goals that people are setting.

Wanna know what I think? I think I'm a lazy ass.

Wanna know what I've been doing? Eating too much sugar and watching the scale go up.

Wanna know what I want to do about it? Eat more sugar and watch the scale go down.

Wanna know how that works? It doesn't.

So I'm going to forget that I just ate two rice crispy treats (that were nasty, BTW.)

I'm going to set a fitness goal just like my amazing friend ronnie.

I'm going to run.
I'm going to run until it hurts, until the sweat is falling off of me.
 I'm going to run until I remember why I started running in the first place, I'm going to run until it feels good again.
(While I type this I'm thinking about Butterfinger ice cream, I'm going to resist.)

I'm going to run until that scale says 145. Then I'm going to keep running.

I'm back on track with my band. I had .4 removed. It is a post all in itself, but no one told me what this band was supposed to feel like. I'll write about that later. About what it feels like for me.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Adventures with the LB

So, this is the week that I kick a major NSV out of the park!

I'm going paragliding! Yepper, that 240 advertised weight limit doesn't mean shiz to this girl!

If I don't make it back alive, know that I went out at my lowest weight in... well, as long as I can remember (and seriously, who doesn't want that on their headstone?) I also feel athletic and basically full of AWESOMENESS! If I live, I'll post!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Garbage disposal

Oh man, every once in a while I forget that my mouth is not attached to a garbage disposal. It hit me last night as I ate Taco Bell at 10:30 then headed on out for some ice cream as well.

I gotta do something. Weight is up to 168 this morning. YIKES!

Good news? I'm finally on track for real. Only water today, good food. Going for a run.

I feel more "squishy" than I did 6 pounds ago? Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I also had one of those "fat dreams" last night. You know what I'm talking about:)

Good news ladies, I'm not a quitter and I'm going to keep on keeping on.

More Dragon Warrior, less Garbage Disposal. Check and check!

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” 
 Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Waiting to pee

I'm going to tell you all a story.

Sunday morning I woke up just like I prefer my Sunday's no alarm and a text message. Laying there texting, not in a hurry to go anywhere. This never happens to me, except on Sundays.
 (*Texting in bed can be expensive. I ended up washing my bedding, and my cell phone as well, but that is another story.)
Well, I went to church with that "I could pee thought" but nothing serious. Church gets over at 4. As I left church I thought "I kinda need to go pee" but I just didn't.  I go home and get "the girls" (which is what I call my dogs.) Went to my parents house for a bit. Then a group of my friends and I got together and had dinner. When I left my parents house at 5:45 I thought "I need to go to the bathroom" but I just didn't. When I got to my friends house I still needed to go to the bathroom but didn't because... well I just didn't. The group of us then traveled to another friends house for a farwell "root beer float" shindig. When I got there I really needed to potty. So I finally asked. Well someone was in the bathroom. So I just held it (not literally, but we are getting to that point.) Anyway, left there with two friends. One of which just bought an Audi (yeah, he isn't a teacher.. :) So we of course had to go for a drive. Amber (my roommate) and I proceeded to give him pointers on this new car adventure. Very funny. By this time it is after 8 (this is the "literally holding it" part) and I am really starting to get uncomfortable, once again I just ignore it, make excuses and keep going.


When I finally get to the potty it hurts, but it feels so good!

Now, this pee cycle is a comparison to the cycle I have been in with eating right and exercise the last month. Why do I wait so long, make excuses and stay off track for so long when I know it is going to hurt but FEEL SO GOOD?

I can't be the only one that needs a detox day. Tomorrow it is TONS of water and protein first. That is what I call a detox.

This is where I was last year just for a little perspective.

The summers are not good for me (It happens every summer, read here.) I need a routine and welcome the "organized" chaos that is my classroom! There are some fun adventures and NSV's coming up before summer is over though, so stay tuned.
My sister and I! Aren't we adorable?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Taking up space

I have spent years making sure I didn't take up more than my share of the space in the world. I didn't do a very good job at it. Lets face it at 277 pounds, I did take up too much space. It didn't matter where I was, I was too big. Which in turn took up too much of my energy trying to fade into the curtains. Trying to stay out of the way. The thing is, I don't think I realized how many coping mechanisms I had adopted to keep 'Fat Lorie' from being in the way.
I hated walking behind peoples chairs.
I hated cramming 3 people in the front of the truck.
I hated pictures.
I hated sitting next to someone on the couch.
I REALLY hated movie theatre seats (I had no idea, until I had lost weight.) 
I hated being TOO FREAKING BIG for the world. 

For the first time, I just feel regular. 
If I need someone to scoot their chair forward, it is because they are sitting to far back.
I don't try to blend in with the curtains.
I don't try to squish into the farthest corner I can find. 

I think, maybe, just maybe, I am becoming comfortable JUST BEING ME. Now, I just have to figure out. Who is Lorie when she isn't hiding? I'm learning that there are things in this World that I thought I wanted to do, but didn't do because I was to DANG FAT. I'm finding that the truth is, even at 165ish pounds, I don't want to do them. It is FREEING.

And I got a little bit out of my band... this is one happy banded lady! :)