Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Roller Derby-ing.

 So here is what I have figured out.

I could <3 roller derby, a lot. They wear crazy outfits and skate fiercly and workout, more than just skating. And I could tell from our 1 hour little get together that it is a community. These girls/women are exercising and having fun.

With that being said, I will not be joining the bad ass ladies of roller derby. Which really is a shame because the possibility of creating my own Derby Doll name and having my first expiereince with a sport that requires a mouth piece would have been epic; the stories alone are almost worth it.

Here is the main reason I will not be a Derby Doll. They practice 3 nights a week. Every week. For the entire year. Then they travel for competition and all of that. The amount of time this community needs to really give it my all is more than I can commit right now.

So at the end of the “fresh meat” recruitment session last night they asked me specifically if I would be joining. I replied with “I don’t think so.” They wanted to know why, so I told them. 1. I’m training for a Ragnar and 2. I have a new baby. They Chief replied with “we all have children, that isn’t an excuse.” First, it wasn’t an excuse. I was just being honest with how I wanted to spend my time and what I could commit to. Second, put the claws away.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Round is a shape...

It is easier to get in shape when you have already done it, or already are.

I really believe that.

When I first started working out I had no idea what I was doing. I had never been to a class, didn't have the shoes, didn't have a thing I needed.

Mostly I didn't have the tools, or the friends.

This time around, it is easier.

I've only truly been back at the grind for about 1 week and already I've been invited to train for a Ragnar. You can read about my first experience here. I ran into my Crossfit coach and she invited me to come back to a class.... You can read about my first experience with that here. I was terrified.

See, all these things that were so HARD so INTIMIDATING before have already been done. These are familiar waters.

Ladies, it is a good day to be alive.

Tonight is Roller Derby night. Living a life no longer intimidating.

I'm gonna need a tat!

Friday, January 23, 2015

Today I am winning the fight.

How good it feels to be trying to get healthy.

I mean seriously, why do I forget?

I went home on Wedensday and got on the treadmill (I wish I had a picture of my running clothes. EEK, not good.)

I always have this thought that I have to start at the beginning. Like I am always going back to 277 pounds. It wasn't, I could run for a couple minutes and then walk. It felt so good.

I've been, what I consider, on point with my food and I'm using my lapband as a tool again. I'm not sure I would know what to do without it.

I've forgot what confidence comes with taking charge of my health. I'm so glad to be working on myself.

It isn't about being where I was, it is about feeling the way I felt. Does that make sense? I'm focusing more on the feelings and enjoying the moments instead of what the scale reads. I have faith that the scale will follow.

I was starting to turn down things, refuse to do things that I like because of how big I was becoming again. Today I am winning the fight.

My new piercing (still swollen.) I think it is so cute!

My new glasses and my post run face!

Christmas present and proof that I got moving!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tuesday Newsday

Mini goal for the week is to exercise 30 minutes 3 times a week.

Next week my mini goal will be trying out a local roller derby team. They are doing a Fresh Meat Boot camp. I'm pretty dang excited. I can't find any of my regular peeps that are willing to give it a shot, so I'm going at this one alone....unless I can get my sister to try it out. I don't know why a person would want to give it a roll.

I also got a new treadmill for Christmas and haven't used it one time. I'm cutting myself some slack because I did just have a baby. I'll be getting on it tonight for a 30 minutes of walking, possibly some jogging.

Last Tuesday's weight: 222.6
This week: 220.6

Loss of 2 pounds.

Start weight: 277

Lowest recorded weight: 162 (Holy Shit....)

I am doing so good and getting adjusted to my new life.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Post about me

So where am I? I'm here... back to work and finding a balance between being a mom and being a teacher. It is working out.

Right before I had PJ I weighed 246 pounds. This morning I weighed in at 222.6.  So, I have a long ways to go.

Here is a picture of me in a sweater I hope fits soon...

It is tight and you can see where the weight gain has happened, but I don't look terrible.
I will also be updating my goal list. There is just something rewarding about crossing things off of a list for me!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Meet the baby!

I can’t believe that the last time I blogged I was 39 weeks pregnant. Where does the time go?

I did have a baby, but he did take his sweet time getting here.  12 days late.

He was born on 11/12/14, weighed 7 lbs 7oz and 21” long…. I’d like to say it was love at first sight, but you all know I always tell the truth here.

I thought that having a baby at 27 would be better than having a baby at 18; you know I’d just be more “ready.” I don’t know if that was the case or not. One thing I do know is that it was the biggest adjustment ever. And it hurt. The first time I went to pee, well that was hell. Guess what else; they give you a stool softener in the hospital. Do you know what happens when you have suffered from significant constipation since getting banded and then even more severe constipation while pregnant and then they give you a stool softener? Imagine having multiple bowl movements with stitches in your lady bits. It was as fun as you can imagine. I cried.

I didn’t just cry in the hospital, but I cried most days for the first few weeks. It was the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t go anywhere, I didn’t get enough sleep, my house was a mess….. And I didn’t know it, but I was suffering from depression. That was the key to all of this. Looking back now, I can recognize that I was depressed for my entire pregnancy and then after having PJ it just got worse.  My Mom went to the Dr with me and when he asked how I was and I replied “good.” My Mom told him the truth. I wasn’t. So, I am officially on an antidepressant and I haven’t felt this good in ages.  He told me that most likely I will only need it for a few months, but I am so glad to finally feel like myself again.

The best part? With the depression out of the way I finally fell in love with being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted PJ to be safe and I have always loved him, but when you don’t like yourself, it is hard to do much of anything that is positive. I hope that makes sense.

Meet PJM
9 weeks. 13 lbs 5 oz