Friday, September 30, 2011

Thankful Thursday... On Friday?

So, I completely spaced thankful Thursday this week... I don't know why? Must be this funk I'm stinking around in.

The question is... what am I most thankful for this week? My new scale? Nope, it weighs 3 pounds heavier than my old one. The treadmill? Nope, I have a price out on its head. Bike? Not really, though it was the most enjoyable exercise I found this week. So, I guess I'm grateful that I get to keep going! That next week is a new week and this isn't just a "quick fix" but a lifetime change!

I'm a food addict

I just ate my willpower... the theme of the week.

I'm here to admit it, I'm a food addict... I think I'm in recovery until I have a week like this week and then I know I'm in a bad spot!
It all started Monday when my roommate and I were invited to Farr's Fresh for ice cream. I didn't go overboard, just had a 1/3 cup of Peach Sorbet. It just, sort of, triggered something in me and I haven't stopped eating the rest of the week. SWEETS! Cookies, ice cream, Hawiian Punch, Recess.... pretty much all those things that go down easily for us banded girls, but that we usually avoid.

Me? I living, walking proof, that a band is NOT a fix all. You can still eat all the crappy foods that you used to, and if you give it time in between I can almost eat as much of it as I used to.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The results are in!

Down from a 223.8 to 219! Much better week! That is a great reward for not having 800 Oreo's! 


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Cabin Bliss with a Lap-Band

A group of us "singles ward" kids went to my families cabin this weekend! It was so fun.
Food wise, it was a disaster! :)
Dinner I ended up tossing up, GROSS! I didn't eat more than I should... I just didn't know how to help what there was to eat. You know? We made a dutch oven chicken pot pie. I didn't eat the crust,  I didn't eat the potato's, didn't eat anything I shouldn't, but I had been with these people for 6 hours... they knew I hadn't eaten, how do I tell them "i'm not hungry?" You don't, just eat a little, then toss it up! YUCKY!
Breakfast... for me as a bander, has always been difficult! I wake up really thirsty so I drink 20-40 oz of water and then eat a granola bar or have a yogurt.
That isn't camping food though, is it? So they made bacon, eggs, and pancakes! Old me would have attacked it, new me? I see calories and I see things that might hurt. So I eat (literally) one bite of pancake, one bit of eggs and a slice of bacon. Tonight I'm feeling pretty hungry... so i'm going to have a salad! YUMMY!
Here is to the new me!~ Making changes! 
How do you handle these awkward social/eating situations with people who don't know about your band!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thankful Thursday support!

Today I am thankful for my AMAZING sister-in-law Holly! She is an inspiration to me! She is supportive through all of my awkward weight loss moods... and she is a machine when it comes to working out! When I grow up, I wanna be just like her!
Thanks Holly! And if we were the "type" I'd tell you that I love you... but we aren't!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


So there is a boy... and it isn't anything serious... but I want to write about him, because IT explains the spot I am in emotionally this evening.
10 years ago... I used to be a rodeo queen, well at that point I was a hopeful rodeo queen. There was a lady named Annie Oakley (name change, duh) that was helping me out (she is like a MORE amazing Annie Oakley). Anyway, she moved away and we haven't seen her in years. My Mom and Sister went to Salina to a State horse show and while there went into a western wear store. And there SHE WAS! Then Wendy wants to set me up on a date. :) (I will from hence forth refer to this man as Colorado, like the hot guy in all the john wayne movies.)  Which I say! YAHOO! To! She texts me this (about the date) and then tells me all about Colorado! Who turns out to be more of a MAN! He is employed! A cowboy! And funny is all GET OUT! Colorado has it going on! Wendy had already sent me a picture of Colorado... and let me tell you ladies, he is good lookin'.  Anyway, he hits me up for a picture, which I know is rational on his part.
So I send him two pictures. One of me on my horse, all cowgirl decked out. Then one of me and my SIL lookin' pretty good at a concert! :)
All night I was freaking out! They were not pictures after I've lost 50 pounds. Both were post pictures. I wanted to text him and tell him "I've lost weight, I only eat 1,000 calories a day, and I exercise 5x's a week." I didn't, but I wanted to.
So the irrational part of my mind is ticked that he has to know what I look like. Couldn't we just go on in happy oblivion without ever having to address how LARGE I am!
I talked to him 3 days in a row... 3rd being picture night. What if I never hear from him again?
WHY can't I be more confident? DANG IT!

Monday, September 19, 2011

-1.2 Pounds... and Oreo's

Well Ladies... today is my weigh in day, and the results are in. -1.2 pounds... the reason it wasn't an even 2? OREO'S! Dang, I just went hog wild on them this week! :) So yummy, but i'm sad that the scale didn't move more! :( Here's to a much improved with.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

~Professional Bowling/Bowler

So, yesterday a group from my YSA ward decided that they were going bowling! They have stuff all of the time (I usually just don't attend.) Anyway, I decided to go! A+ decision! First reason... I put on some of my boot cut jeans, that previously did NOT fit! They used to be tight all the way from the top to the bottom (ankles.) Well, not only did they fit, they were a little bit too big! Cute shirt... and I was ready to go!
The biggest change? I didn't feel like a huge girl trying to be small so I would stay out of the way. I danced, I sung, I bowled. I concured! Success: not worrying about your shape for the entire evening! I "heart" bowling!

Friday, September 16, 2011

size 18 jeans

I bought size 18 jeans! Down from the bulging 24 I was wearing when I started this adventure. :)

I took a pair of 20's in that I bought when we were school clothes shopping and switched them for an 18. I didn't think they would fit! I thought I was just getting a pair that I could wear in a while.... nope! THEY FIT! 

Thursday, September 15, 2011


I'm having a really hard time 'retiring' some of my old clothes. Almost all of my pants and shirts are too BIG!
It is kinds of weird, because I thought I would be so HAPPY to go buy new clothes, but there is some sadness in losing my well thought out and planned wardrobe. I think some of the sadness come from not wanting to go out and buy "quality things" or at least not many of them, because I'm still losing?
So what is a girl to do? And do you all just donate your clothes to a local DI? I've spent a lot of time and money on my wardrobe and I'm just tossing it out.
I know, I know, it probably seems weird, but weight loss and gain isn't always rational!

Thankful Thursday 4


I'm thankful for razors... so I don't have to run around with BUSHY arm pits and legs.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wrong shape

I can't be the only "big girl" that thinks "i'm the wrong shape to be here!" Damn the gym rats
Also, isn't it amazing that all the skinny people I hated before for being "naturally skinny" are at the gym? If I had a million dollars, I'd also bet that they watch what they eat! Who could have guessed, eat less and move more? Works ever time! :) 

Thanks to my band... i'm on my way to being one of the fit crowd.... doesn't mean there won't  be a few (maybe a lot) of large awkward moments! 

Monday, September 12, 2011

2 Pounds down... and counting

For my official Monday weigh-in the scale read 225!

YAHOO! :) 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Yucky"ness" in disguise!

So i'm really trying to improve my protein intake... it has been more difficult than I expected!
I love yogurt. I typically eat Weight Watchers Vanilla!
Calories: 100
Protein: 6g
Sugars 11 g
Dietary Fiber: 3

So I decided to try Yoplait Greek yogurt
Calories: 120
Protein: 17 g
Sugars: 9
Dietary Fiber: 0
DELICIOUSNESS: like rotten milk!

Greek Yogurt is not for me! Guess i'll find my protein somewhere else! 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thankful Thursday 3

iPod!! I love my iPod
Makes exercise fun! :) (ok, ok, more fun)

*WARNING* This is not a positive weight loss post

Today was a skinny day for me! I felt so good al day:) First of all because I ran again last night and felt awesome; 2 miles in 30 minutes! It really was amazing. Scale (when I peek this morning) was down 3 pounds this week! 3! Pounds:) Yay! After school is when it falls apart... but I get ahead of my self, let me start at the beginning.
So... a million years ago I showed horses in 4-h! Miki and I rode horses all of the time; rodeo, horseshow's, ANYTHING to do with horses! Anyway, there was this boy... and he was so, so, so, so, YUMMY! (Like better than cake and cookies, and pumpkin roll just sayin'.)
Well today, Makayla (my sis) asked me to drive to Upaca (near Bluebell) to pick up a cow dog. On our way there I started reminiscing about the good ole' days with Miki and Yummy Cowboy (name change for privacy purposes!) :)
Well we got there to get the dog and IT WAS HIM! .... the one and only Yummy Cowboy! As good looking as ever!  My sister was like "YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE!" (That is how good looking he is.)
This is what immediately happened to me; I shut down and go into fat girl mode! I immediately lose all confidence and forget all about looking skinny in my clothes and feeling awesome about myself, and become introverted! :( Damn you Fat Self! Pull it together!
K- this boy is married... but for the purpose of this post it isn't important. What is important is how I felt. I obviously have a long way to go!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Two things

So, i've always been a snacker... and it has been a hard habit to break! So, I've tried to embrace it instead of beating the hell out of it (all the time.) First, I limit snacking, it isn't a free for all... but if I'm having one of those evenings that I know I'm going to snack... I hit ONE of my two stand-by pals.

First: Edy's Fruit Bars
Come one LADIES... Fat free, no sugar added, and only 35 Calories! Thats what I'm talking about! 

Second: 100 Calorie Pop popcorn... it is a crunchy, long lasting treat... YUMMY! 

They save me from myself... 

Thank-you Edy and Orville! 

Monday, September 5, 2011

Can I pack a picture?

Ladies... tell me the truth... do you ever have an urge to pack around a fat picture (or in my case a fatter picture.) Especially when I meet someone new. I just want to SHOUT you think I'm big now, you should have seen me a few months ago! Some people pack around pictures of their kids, dogs, and their lives in general... why can't i pack a fatter picture?

Now, come on, I know I can't do this but I seriously want to! I'm so proud of my accomplishment and I just want to show people how far I've come.... especially in this scary "single" life I live!

Maybe I'll just get it made into a t-shirt?

50 Pounds DOWN!

Today... for the official Monday weigh-in I'm DOWN 50 POUNDS! This is something to celebrate! Yahoooooooo!

Starting Weight: 277
Weight today: 227 (9/5/11) 

Nothing like a victory on that scale to keep me motivated to hit the gym! :) 

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Single and banded...

There are a few things that I didn't expect to deal with when I got banded... things I just didn't think about. 
  1. I'm a single girl... and I attend an LDS singles ward. (It is an awesome group of kids.) Well I'm not ready to share with them my journey using the lap-band, though I know most of them would be 100% supportive. The other night my new roommate Amber was moving in and a boy (for this post will be called JJ) helped her. Afterwards we went to dinner. Well I ordered the chicken salad and went about eating it like I always do. This salad is HUGE! So I only ate about 1/8 and was full. Well JJ decided to comment on how much I didn't eat... it was interesting, I didn't know what to say. Amber, the roommate, knows because I didn't want her to worry about what I was or wasn't eating. But I've never been in the position to have people analyze what I didn't eat. (I didn't get this size by not eating.)
  2. People obsessing about you having a drink at dinner... case-in-point... I was asked multiple times at a BBQ if I needed a drink. Who knew people noticed? 
  3. What does one eat at a BBQ? I usually try to make a lettuce wrap; once again, people comment about the lack of a bun! Come on, how do you expect a chubby to lose weight?
  4. Dessert! Yes I would LOVE some, no, I'm not having any... i've got 85 pounds left to lose! :) Thanks though.
Do you think it is easier being married and banded or single? Pro's and Con's? 

~Rantings of a chubby single! 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Doberman's Lap-Band!

Zena is my Doberman, she is also one of my best friends: usually a very well behaved best friend. I can leave her home for 12 hours and she just chills, waiting for me to get home and hold her! (I don't leave her home that long often, so all you dog activists can just put your panties back on straight!)
Zena has been with me from the beginning of this Journey! Couldn't ask for a better jogging partner... and here are the reasons why:
1: She is always up to go.
2: She doesn't act like it easy and she has to "wait for you."
3: She is obese too... so the girl understands where I'm coming from (or going to: depending on how you want to look at it.)

Her problem started with a trip to the vet. She has pulled "something something something's" in her leg. Kind of like when an athlete pulls their ACL's and stuff. Anyway, the vet told me to put her on a diet. I explained to him that she only gets 2 cups in the morning, and 2 cups in the evening. He said to cut her back to 1 1/2 and NO running... DAMN IT!
This was a month ago and man is she acting like a BIG girl on a diet. I mean sneaking snacks... stealing food from her sister her VERY skinny sister... today she hit an all time LOW! I walk into the kitchen to find my typically well mannered dog with a 20 dollar brick of cheese between her big old jaws!

I couldn't be mad because I've been there! :) Feel bad for the girl and her grumbling stomach! Maybe my Dobbie can get a band?

2 carrots and a protein shake!

School started again... and with it came all of the CHOAS; and nuttynesssssss. WOW! Also came a serious craving for Pepsi (which I used to be seriously addicted to, but haven't missed... until now.)

This brought an entirely new outlook on eating!

Lunch is crazy! And therefore I've just been eating something that doesn't take a lot of prep time. It all went well until the day of I tried to eat 2 baby carrots and drink of protein shake.

AND UP IT CAME! GROSS! :( I hope this doesn't happen often!

I know I broke the rules and paid for it "Don't eat and drink." Got it... consider it LESSON LEARNED!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

:) Thankful Thursday #2

Today I'm thankful for good gym shoes! Seriously, I am learning to like the gym (LEARNING).... and the only thing that makes it tolerable is good shoes!
I wear Nike FreeXT! I LOVE THEM!

I've had some interesting Bandster experience this last week... but I'm sick, and exhausted, so maybe Saturday!