Monday, February 4, 2013

Going to the chapel...

She is going to get married!

My sister got engaged last Saturday. As in, 2/2/13... and she is getting married 3/23/13 (oh yes, my Mom is in a panic, but it is all good.) 

She even went to try on wedding dresses today. I couldn't be there but my Mom sent me a picture of each dress. Kinda the same thing but not really.

Anyway, that means another bridesmaid dress, spray tan, manicure... the whole shebang. Remember this post when I told you just a few short months ago that my brother Squishy was getting married? I weighed 174 then. That is hella close to what I weigh now. 

I have spent the last 48 hours eating. 

Not because I am not excited as HECK for my sister, because I am. Her groom to be is perfect for her. 

It is because I am selfish.

You see I've always wanted to get married and have a few babies, alright 4, maybe 5. 
Here in Utah land, I'm practically on the shelf. I'm flirting with 26 (I do not, I repeat DO NOT want to hear about how young I am, and how much time I have left. Damn it! This isn't a practicle rant.)

I have spent pretty much the last 10 years dating.

 I'm practically a professional. 

 Professional dating sucks donkey balls. Seriously. 

Also, remember how I live in small town, Utah? Meaning that my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and one billion  hundred cousins all live/lived here? Well that means everyone knows that I am the "last one left." So please, I am begging you from the bottom of my heart, do not use the line "you are next" when you are talking to me about this wedding. I will do one of two things: 

1. Cry. Silent, streaming tears, that will break your heart...

Or more likley


Or I guess I could shout it while crying, now that would make me and you both feel like crap. 

I will pull it together. I will have fun helping to plan this wedding and all the shinangins that go with it. 

I refuse to give in to the thought "there must be something wrong with me." 


  1. Maybe you should stop sucking donkey balls.... Might get you some better results!! LOL!!!!!! :D


    Sorry, I know. I got married at 34 so I feel your pain. People start to make faces about "your prospects" etc. it's totally lame, no fun and I totally cried about it too.

  2. Screw that - Take this time to travel and take on the world! Just remember the universe has a plan...and that plan is awesome - you have to trust it.