Wednesday, September 21, 2011


So there is a boy... and it isn't anything serious... but I want to write about him, because IT explains the spot I am in emotionally this evening.
10 years ago... I used to be a rodeo queen, well at that point I was a hopeful rodeo queen. There was a lady named Annie Oakley (name change, duh) that was helping me out (she is like a MORE amazing Annie Oakley). Anyway, she moved away and we haven't seen her in years. My Mom and Sister went to Salina to a State horse show and while there went into a western wear store. And there SHE WAS! Then Wendy wants to set me up on a date. :) (I will from hence forth refer to this man as Colorado, like the hot guy in all the john wayne movies.)  Which I say! YAHOO! To! She texts me this (about the date) and then tells me all about Colorado! Who turns out to be more of a MAN! He is employed! A cowboy! And funny is all GET OUT! Colorado has it going on! Wendy had already sent me a picture of Colorado... and let me tell you ladies, he is good lookin'.  Anyway, he hits me up for a picture, which I know is rational on his part.
So I send him two pictures. One of me on my horse, all cowgirl decked out. Then one of me and my SIL lookin' pretty good at a concert! :)
All night I was freaking out! They were not pictures after I've lost 50 pounds. Both were post pictures. I wanted to text him and tell him "I've lost weight, I only eat 1,000 calories a day, and I exercise 5x's a week." I didn't, but I wanted to.
So the irrational part of my mind is ticked that he has to know what I look like. Couldn't we just go on in happy oblivion without ever having to address how LARGE I am!
I talked to him 3 days in a row... 3rd being picture night. What if I never hear from him again?
WHY can't I be more confident? DANG IT!

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