Friday, April 12, 2013

Artificial Will Power

Confession time!
I spent January, February and March of this year convinced my band didn’t work.

For serious.
I thought I had just somehow convinced myself to diet for 18 months and the band had never done anything for me.

No joke.
My weight had gone up.

I couldn’t get full.
My cravings were out of control.

I thought “this thing doesn’t work.” “It has never worked.”
 thought “Lorie, you have no willpower, none.”

I was trying to eat the same foods/portions as always.
I was exercising.

I was failing.
At 186, 24 pounds up from my lowest (162), I started researching different diets.

Diets that had never worked for me before and in the back of my mind, I knew they wouldn’t work again.
Desperate to get to my goal weight and fraught with worry that I would wake up at 277+ as a failure.

Finally, Monday April 8th I went to see Amy for a fill.
She is always so nice and so supportive.

I wanted her to yell at me. Give me a serious do better talk. Tell me to get off my butt and not make excuses. I wanted her to tell me that it was my fault, that I wouldn’t be successful. Self destruct much?  
I think I wanted to give up because what I was doing just wasn't working.

She didn’t do that. She added .3, told me to come back if I thought I needed more. Told me I knew what I was doing and that I am her model “lap bander.”

She told me I could succeed…
So I left hopeful.

You know what? Those first 15 months my band was working because it is working now.

How do I know?

1.       I can eat 1 cup of food and be full for up to 4 hours.

2.       My food choices are not limited because I am NOT too tight.

3.       I am not hungry between meals and BECAUSE of that it is easier to not snack and to pass by foods I know I shouldn’t eat.

My band doesn’t do all of the work, but it does 20% of it.

The 20% that I can’t do on my own.

20% of added, artificial Will Power!
Game on. 


  1. sometimes it takes a person with a needle pointed at your port to help you see the light.

  2. Glad it's working for you once again!

  3. I'm glad your 20% is working! You do know what you are doing!

  4. That's a good reminder of how the band needs to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing all the hard work on my own, and sometimes I know I could never have gotten this far without the band. That 20% is noticeable.

  5. Yay, Lorie, I am so glad the fill is helping.