TTT

1. I turn 26 in 16 days. I'm not sure how I feel about this? I usually am crazy about my birthday, but this year I'm kinda feeling like I haven't got a lot to show for the last year. Ugh

2. 15 days until my two year band-iversary. Not anywhere near where I thought I would be. I thought I had my goal weight in the bag. Little did I know.

3. I weighed in at 181 this morning. 2 days in a row BACK in the 180's... How does this happen? Tuesday I was literally 177. Donkey balls.

4. Still loving me some crossfit.  I am going in for a body fat percentage scan the day before my bandiversary to see what has changed in the last 5months with my new workout routine. I know I have gained muscle, I just wish my belly would shrink. Double balls.

5. School is out in 8 days. Only 6 of those school days. I love my job,but I'm kinda feeling the burnout this year. Some things about it are just too depressing (this coming from the girl that cannot watch the news.)

6. I'm going to up my cardio and see if that will jump the weight loss again....

7. I'm have to renew my DL before my birthday..... I will not be able to out the 145 down that I wanted to see so badly....

8. Confession- all this has got to my head today and instead of eating my chicken and veggies I had packed I ate 10 Oreos. Good work Lorie. Good work.

9. I'm joining Robyn on her no soda for a week pledge. I only have about one sprite per week, but I think that is too much. I will be extending that challenge to only drinking water.

10. After number 8 Vanessa talked me off the ledge, I got right back on track instead of just tossing the day in the trash and eating junk food the rest of the day. I'm calling it a win.

10a. I really believe that I am the only one standing between me and being at goal. Get the hell out of the way Lorie.

WIW

Sometimes the scale is not my friend.

I was on point and hovering around 177 for the last week.

Then this morning?

180.4

I thought about not posting this, but then I remembered my promise.

I had a single slice of thing crust pizza last night.

The night before a weigh in? And after being on point for a week?

Call me crazy.

Anyway,

Last week: 178.2
This week: 180.4

Gain of: 2.2

I'm sure I will be back in the 170's by tomorrow.

No stressing.

Crossfit tonight... it looks like a killer.

What are you doing for workout wednesday

How do I fix my brain?

Even at my heaviest, I was in some serious denial. 

I thought I was just "really heavy" in my stomach and the rest was just average size. The most surprising thing to me was how much weight I lost in my face and how much I liked it. 

At the begining of this journey I just kept hoping "please let my stomach shrink." 

It has. For sure. It is still my "biggest" area. Still the part of me that when I take measurements I just hope and pray has decreased. 

You see, when ever I purchased new jeans if they fit the waist, they fit everywhere. With room to spare. 

Not so anymore. 

First. Time. Ever. 

I'm back down to around 177 (just after starting Crossfit, I seemed to JUMP to 187.)

Anyway, I'm noticing that my jeans are loose around the waist- like pull them off without unbuttoning loose.

My stomach looks to me to be just about the same, but it is deflated. And when I do the "loose skin check" pose my stomcah hanges "funnier" than it ever has. (Oh my hell no one is ever gonna wanna get naked with me!:) 

But they are CRAZY tight on my thighs. 

New problem for me. 

I might go so far as to say that my inner thighs are toning (I HATE my inner thighs, saggy-baggy, eek. But I can feel the muscles developing. Even see em if I pay attention) 

My arms are toning, my shoulders. My butt that doesn't really exist is toning (seriously, I gotta find someone to grab it and write a testimonial.) My calves, forearms. Everything. 

BUT... 

How do I cure the "it is tight so you are getting FAT" mentality? 

How do I fix the mental side of me? 

How do I fix my obsession with "The Number." 

You see, my lowest weight is around 162 (for like a week.) I love that number. I will be there again. 

Fact: I am in better shape now than I was then. I have more muscle. I am toning and my body likes it. 

How do I fix my brain? 

 

TTT

1. On 3/25 I did the following workout at Crossfit...

"Elizabeth"
21 Cleans
21 ring dips
15 Cleans
15 ring dips
9 cleans
9 ring dips

My "clean" weight for the workout was only 45 pounds and I was pretty dang happy about it.

The whole thing took 8 min and 46 seconds.

Last night we completed the same workout, "Elizabeth." I ADDED.

YEP ADDED

40 pounds, for a total of 85 pounds.

Completed the workout in 8 min and 51 seconds.

This Crossfit buisness works.

2. I could go on and on and on about Crossfit. I just feel like I have found my "thing." It is always changing (maybe repeating a benchmark workout, like the one above every few months) and heaven knows I need me some variety.

My workout makes me nervous. Every freaking time.

3.  I have a 40 mile bike race in about a week... haven't even dusted off my bike yet. I am not going to sweat it.

4. I've been running 2 times a week on top of my 4 or 5 crossfit sessions.
I have found my love for running again, but that first 1/2 mile always sucks. Seriously, I freaking hate it.

5. When I am working out, it is easier to love my body. To find things about myself that I like.

6. I have the hardest time with balance. I am ether Mach 90 or standing still. So I am either working out, eating great, skipping out on every social event and making a point of getting all my workouts in.

7. OR... I am doing the opposite. Socializing. Celebrating with food. My workouts become "negotiable." Jeez. I will continue to work on this.

8. I do feel better when I am in the swing I am in now. I just have to workout so that my head sits on my shoulders straight.

9. 2.5 weeks until summer vacay. I love teaching, but I love me some summer.

10. My two year bandiversary and 26th birthday is less than 1 month away. My oh my where does the time go?

WIW- and a whack "fat people are less" article.

Starting weight: 277
Last week: 181.0
This week:178.2
Loss of: 2.8

bow-chica-wow-wow! I have finally found my groove again!

Have you seen this whack  article claiming to quote the CEO of Ambercrombie and Fitch?

Go read it.

I realize it is all kinda "second hand quotes."

Anyone know if this is true?

I don't think I have ever tried to wear anything from Ambercrombie and Fitch.

Do they really not carry XL?

Interesting.

Nobody is going to believe this

I made it through a weekend without being completely derailed from my plan.

It is one of these superhero powers that I am developing.

I was successful, I believe, because of this article that Athena the Banded Warrior posted.

It hit very close to home- just replace drugs and alcohol with food.

One line that hit me, and I kept repeating this weekend: "The fact is, though, that the sufferer must be a willing participant in their own recovery. They must not pick up a drink or drug. Just don’t pick it up — that’s all."

Now I recognize that we have to eat, but I have to choose not to pick up the wrong foods.
It is my choice to stay on the path of healthy eating, to workout, to never again be at a weight that impedes the quality of my lifestyle.

It is all about choices.
The use of my own willpower.

It is kind of a scary thought.

WIW

Starting: 277
Last week: 179.2
This week: 181.0

Gain of 1.8.

Didn't surprise me. I spend all day Saturday and Sunday on a horse, but my food choices weren't the greatest and the sodium was SKY HIGH! Beef jerky, anyone?!

Anywhozzle, Monday I weighed 185.6- I can't make this shiz up.

I've already been to Crossfit twice this week- Monday was hell and I will post for your pleasure:

Run 1/2 Mile
Then do two rounds of the following:
50 burpees
40 pull ups
30 squats
20 kettlebell swings (35 pounds.)
10 handstand push ups.
Then
Run 1/2 mile.

It took me 36:16, which I thought was pretty darn great. Our trainer, Colter planned to cut us off at 40 min wherever we were in the workout. I thought for sure I wouldn't be finished.


Tuesday at Crossfit was a weight training day, which I really like. Afterwards I ran 3 miles. Felt like a beast.

Smidgen of a fill yesterday, already feel better! I turned down pumpkin cake and pizza (I ate the toppings off of one piece) last night-

Super Powers ladies.

I no longer celebrate with food. I not longer celebrate with food. I no longer celebrate with food.