Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Taking up space

I have spent years making sure I didn't take up more than my share of the space in the world. I didn't do a very good job at it. Lets face it at 277 pounds, I did take up too much space. It didn't matter where I was, I was too big. Which in turn took up too much of my energy trying to fade into the curtains. Trying to stay out of the way. The thing is, I don't think I realized how many coping mechanisms I had adopted to keep 'Fat Lorie' from being in the way.
I hated walking behind peoples chairs.
I hated cramming 3 people in the front of the truck.
I hated pictures.
I hated sitting next to someone on the couch.
I REALLY hated movie theatre seats (I had no idea, until I had lost weight.) 
I hated being TOO FREAKING BIG for the world. 

For the first time, I just feel regular. 
If I need someone to scoot their chair forward, it is because they are sitting to far back.
I don't try to blend in with the curtains.
I don't try to squish into the farthest corner I can find. 

I think, maybe, just maybe, I am becoming comfortable JUST BEING ME. Now, I just have to figure out. Who is Lorie when she isn't hiding? I'm learning that there are things in this World that I thought I wanted to do, but didn't do because I was to DANG FAT. I'm finding that the truth is, even at 165ish pounds, I don't want to do them. It is FREEING.

And I got a little bit out of my band... this is one happy banded lady! :) 


  1. Great Post! I'm always so happy when I can slip though a small space between two chairs ~ I love that people don't give me that pity look anymore.
    Just being you is awesome - trying to figure out who that you is is even more awesome! How exciting!