Thursday, April 26, 2012

Shameful 10 Things Thursday (Butter(freaking)finger)

1.       What in the hell is wrong with me? Honestly?! The week has been great, doing well food choices, and exercise rocking! Then, yesterday? Morning- awesome. Even though I was traveling. Then, on the way home, I tossed my sugar/junk food fast out the window- I don’t know how it happened. I ate orange sherbet, because everyone else was. Then I ate a Butter(freaking)finger,  I don’t even know how it got there. Then? I ate another one… I was seriously in a zone where I knew what I was doing but just didn’t give a shit. Then? Oh, yeah, then I ate a ½ bag of Kettl* Cooked Salt and Vinegar chips (don’t trick yourself into thinking it was a grab size bag). Then? Then I skipped running. Yeah, so much for making better habits. I’m disgusted with myself. DISGUSTED. And I was so, so, so sick. Then I didn’t sleep well at all? I wonder why- duh!

2.       I’ve got to make some serious mental adjustments if I am going to rock this weight loss long term.

3.       Warrior status? Monday- 1000 calories, 2 mile run (Which hurt because I hadn’t been in 2 weeks, but felt good anyway.)  Tuesday- 1200 calories, 3 mile run! Felt good, really hot.

4.       I’m seriously wondering if I can run a ½ marathon. I just feel like everything is spiraling out of control, and it is my own fault.

5.       I think this is the post-binge depression talking.

6.       I bought size 8 shorts yesterday. Wonder how long they would fit if I continued down the buttered path?

7.       Did I mention that both of the Butter(Freaking) fingers were KING SIZED! (Or share size I think they call them these days, but I’m not sharing.)

8.       I had to make two stops at 7-11 for the Butter(freaking)fingers.

9.       The lady at 7-11 (I live in a small town, and so people just know people) said; “So and so told me you have lost a lot of weight.” I said “yeah, I have” she then looks at my SECOND KING SIZE Butter(freaking)finger in a 20 minute span and said “how?” I could tell she was thinking “No freaking way, you lazy, yucky, Butter(Freaking)finger eating bum. I wasn’t ashamed enough not to mindlessly eat that sucker in the car. Shame came later.

10.   The difference between 11 months ago and today? 11 months ago I would have continued to eat today (liek I did yesterday), not felt guilty, and just kept on keeping on. Today? Back off sugar. 4 mile run planned. I might have took a STUPID pit stop at Butter(freaking)finger land, but I didn’t park there. I’m already leaving and on my way to a better place.

a.       I wanna be in the 160’s next weigh-in and I know I can do it.


  1. I love the Butterfinger Crisp. Good thing I don't reall see them too often...the only place here that has them are two different dollar stores. All the other places just have the regular Butterfiner and I don't eat that kind because it sticks in teeth too much.

    I have faith that you will totally get back on track!

  2. Oh boy...what is happening to us? I could be writing the same TTT post...I'm so down I might not even make10 things....:(.

  3. ok lady....what is going on??? something must have set you off, at least that is how I get thrown into a binge. Have you figured out what it was? Do you think the "sugar/fastfood ban" could have done it??? As soon as something is completely off my "List" of things to eat, I want it even more.

    Don't fret, owning up to it is the hardest part. (Plus putting it in perspective, focus on how your binge didn't grow into several days or weeks............?)
    You are back in charge. Just think about those size 8's!! You can do this! The 160s are just waiting for you.

  4. mama likes...make that LOVES butterfingers. They are my weakness big time.
    Guess what...I haven't wore size 8 shorts in a long time :( so that is an awesome achievement for you! Me and my big buns and thighs! Maybe if I actually exercised I might be able to again someday!
    Good job on all your successes though... I love your attitude and being able to admit you hit a tiny rough patch...but I know that you will keep on going!

  5. you should try peanut butter multigrain cheerios!!! they are a great way to get your peanutty sweet tooth craving curbed... and 3/4 cup gives you quite a bit! i don't eat them for breakfast.. i portion them out in ziploc baggies and snack on them throughout the day :) i don't know how many calories they have, but they are 3 ww points :) i have lost 16.8 pounds in 4 weeks... and to celebrate-i just ate 3 taco bell tacos for dinner!! lol. so i know what you are saying. but you are doing great!! keep up the good work. i learned today (at a ww meeting) that you shouldn't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't tell a friend... so no negative thinking!! would you tell your friend that she was "shameful or disgusting" (using your words :) NO you would tell her to try again tomorrow and remember everything she has accomplished! so look in the mirror and say those things... DO IT! :)

  6. Hey, we all have those days. The difference is.........back in the day we would of kept on haveing a bad day and then say, I'll start again on Monday, by Wed. we were screwing up again. NOT ANYMORE! You realized it and are back on track! Look how much you've already accomplished! Look how much you've lost! Look at how many people are following your blog because you are an inspiration to them and their weight loss (me!) I LOVE butterfingers too. Actually this week I had butterfinger protein smoothies for my breakfast! OMG they are good! I make a basic Vanilla protein shake but add some peanut butter and some sugar free butterscotch pudding to it! Ok, its not the same as the butterfinger, but it worked for me this week! Hang in there Dragon Warrior!