1. What in the hell is wrong with me? Honestly?! The week has been great, doing well food choices, and exercise rocking! Then, yesterday? Morning- awesome. Even though I was traveling. Then, on the way home, I tossed my sugar/junk food fast out the window- I don’t know how it happened. I ate orange sherbet, because everyone else was. Then I ate a Butter(freaking)finger, I don’t even know how it got there. Then? I ate another one… I was seriously in a zone where I knew what I was doing but just didn’t give a shit. Then? Oh, yeah, then I ate a ½ bag of Kettl* Cooked Salt and Vinegar chips (don’t trick yourself into thinking it was a grab size bag). Then? Then I skipped running. Yeah, so much for making better habits. I’m disgusted with myself. DISGUSTED. And I was so, so, so sick. Then I didn’t sleep well at all? I wonder why- duh!
2. I’ve got to make some serious mental adjustments if I am going to rock this weight loss long term.
3. Warrior status? Monday- 1000 calories, 2 mile run (Which hurt because I hadn’t been in 2 weeks, but felt good anyway.) Tuesday- 1200 calories, 3 mile run! Felt good, really hot.
4. I’m seriously wondering if I can run a ½ marathon. I just feel like everything is spiraling out of control, and it is my own fault.
5. I think this is the post-binge depression talking.
6. I bought size 8 shorts yesterday. Wonder how long they would fit if I continued down the buttered path?
7. Did I mention that both of the Butter(Freaking) fingers were KING SIZED! (Or share size I think they call them these days, but I’m not sharing.)
8. I had to make two stops at 7-11 for the Butter(freaking)fingers.
9. The lady at 7-11 (I live in a small town, and so people just know people) said; “So and so told me you have lost a lot of weight.” I said “yeah, I have” she then looks at my SECOND KING SIZE Butter(freaking)finger in a 20 minute span and said “how?” I could tell she was thinking “No freaking way, you lazy, yucky, Butter(Freaking)finger eating bum. I wasn’t ashamed enough not to mindlessly eat that sucker in the car. Shame came later.
10. The difference between 11 months ago and today? 11 months ago I would have continued to eat today (liek I did yesterday), not felt guilty, and just kept on keeping on. Today? Back off sugar. 4 mile run planned. I might have took a STUPID pit stop at Butter(freaking)finger land, but I didn’t park there. I’m already leaving and on my way to a better place.
a. I wanna be in the 160’s next weigh-in and I know I can do it.