March 13, 2011:
Today, while sitting in a sacrament meeting, in a beautiful green dress awesome shoes and a smile. I thought about how much I hate myself. Usually I wouldn't use the term "hate" but today I think that hate is truly the applicable term. I tried on 5 skirts/dresses that didn't fit right... i'm miserable, i'm huge. While I listened to the speakers contemplating 'life' I knew that I had to make a drastic change.
I've decided to have Lap-Band weight loss surgery. I don't just want a change for today, or for this year, I want a change for the rest of my life and I'm going to have it. I know that I have to do something this drastic to have permanent, healthy weight loss. I know I can't live with myself this way any longer, I NEED A CHANGE!
This day, 37 weeks ago changed my life. I've lost 73 pounds... I'm almost into the 190's and I have many more good days than bad. I'm learning to love myself, and make permanent, life changing, healthy decisions. And for all of those "lap-band naysayers," it changed my life and was the PERFECT decision, for me. It isn't all sun and roses, but it is a beautiful journey to a healthier, happier, Lorie.