the goal

The goal in my head has always been to get under 2 hundred by the new year... I'm at 205 for the last weigh in.... think I can do it? I do!!

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Looking back.... 37 weeks

March 13, 2011: 
Today, while sitting in a sacrament meeting, in a beautiful green dress awesome shoes and a smile. I thought about how much I hate myself. Usually I wouldn't use the term "hate" but today I think that hate is truly the applicable term. I tried on 5 skirts/dresses that didn't fit right... i'm miserable, i'm huge. While I listened to the speakers contemplating 'life' I knew that I had to make a drastic change. 
I've decided to have Lap-Band weight loss surgery. I don't just want a change for today, or for this year, I want a change for the rest of my life and I'm going to have it. I know that I have to do something this drastic to have permanent, healthy weight loss. I know I can't live with myself this way any longer, I NEED A CHANGE! 
This day, 37 weeks ago changed my life. I've lost 73 pounds... I'm almost into the 190's and I have many more good days than bad. I'm learning to love myself, and make permanent, life changing, healthy decisions. And for all of those "lap-band naysayers," it changed my life and was the PERFECT decision, for me. It isn't all sun and roses, but it is a beautiful journey to a healthier, happier, Lorie. 

Friday Weigh in

Friday 11/26/11 the day after Thanksgiving and my weight is 204:) A loss of -3 pounds!

Not bad for the holidays!

Lap-Band has a sense of humor.

So I've been hesitating to write this... because I'm just a little unsure that it could be possible. But, you know how we are all always debating about what makes our band tighter?
And you know how I've been complaining about mine being SERIOUSLY way too tight, and it just keeps getting tighter? Well, I think I figured it out.
Last Monday and Tuesday I did my regular regimen of running and power toning class. Then, the rest of the week, NOTHING! I didn't move any more then I had too. And my band continued to get tighter and tighter, to the point I was having a hard time getting water down.
So last night, on a bout 300 calories for the day, I decided to go for a serious run. Almost 3 miles. Almost instantly I could feel a difference in my band. When my band gets to tight, I can feel it. Not just when I eat but all of the time. So, after the run, I just felt super good. And today? I've had a much better time eating. Still good restriction but not the CRAZY tightness that was going on! :)
I'm telling you, my Lap-Band has a sense of humor, making it impossible to skip exercise? It must know how accountable I need to be!

Too full?

So, remember my post about a week ago asking my lap-band where it had went? Because it was so loose I could eat about anything? Well, IT is back, with a vengeance. I'm getting stuck on everything, and everything hurts (feels like i've eaten gravel.) Not good.  Now some people have made the comment of "won't you just loose weight faster when it is tighter?" Here is the problem with that theory. I just stop eating the stuff that I'm suppose to because it makes me sick, and I eat sliders instead (ice-cream, cookies, cereal, all the bad stuff.) So my question is, do I wait and see if it loosens up?

Confessions

Alright, I'm confessing to my sins. This week i've completely fallen off of the lap-"band wagon." Everything i've eaten (from the good food list) has hurt like crazy, so i've been resorting to foods I know won't get stuck or feel as though I've eaten gravel.... and they are not the good foods, the foods that I'm suppose to be eating. I'm wondering if Aunt Flo has made my band tighter? I don't know what it is but i've been miserable. This week not being a loss was completely my fault because of my food choices.
I need to refocus, take charge, and become a good bandster girl again!

I can do it... 62 more pounds to go.

Friday weigh in

The results are: 207. No loss, no gain? hmmm... guess I'll run with that.

Lorie

Weight loss excuses!

Do you ever catch yourself making excuse for why there might be a gain on the scale this week?
Here are some of my personal favorites:
1. Aunt Flo is visiting.
2. I just didn't/ or won't have time to work out.
3. Water weight.
4. Stress

The list goes on!
The truth? When I catch myself going into this negative behavior pattern i know I'm preparing myself to have a gain and be comfortable with it. The PROBLEM is I shouldn't be comfortable with any sort of gain that I made excuses for in advance. If I'm truly eating right, exercising and keeping myself accountable and then there is a gain, that we can handle.

NO PLANNED slacking! :)

Lorie

70 Pounds down

Ladies and gentleman... i've lost 70 pounds! :) I'm sure this is a large baby animal... or a huge something, something, but really i'm just happy i'm not packing it around anymore.

weigh in Friday!

Today's official number is 207. For a loss of -2 pounds from last weigh! It is a miracle, I swear the scale didn't move all week until this morning.

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Some fat, some less fat pictures! :)

My BFF... the band!

Thankful Thursday!

I know it is obvious, but I have to write it... i'm thankful for my lap-band! It was just the kick in the butt that I needed to start this weight loss business!

Run chubby, run!

Tonight...for the first time in my life, I ran 2 miles in 24 minutes, without stopping! Yahoo!

:) Yahoo!

Lorie

Dear Band

Since my last fill (Monday) you have been MIA? Where are you? Did you go on vacation and decide that you didn't want me to come along? I love to travel! Please come back! I'm hungry and I don't like it! 

Love, 

Desperate Lorie 

Utah+Colorado = Just friends.

Until further notice, Colorado and I are just friends. He has a few things he needs to work out, and I respect that. I once again truly RESPECT and APPRECIATE his honesty and forthright nature! :) 

Dear Nike's

Dear Nike's,
I know in February of this year, when I picked you up at that department store, you thought to yourself "HELL YES" I'm going to the home of a chubby. I'll admit that for a month-or two I admired your shininess and beautiful shape from a far. Oh how I loved you, you were comfortable for the small amount time I wore you, mostly just when I wanted a "sporty look" without actually being sporty.
Then it all changed, didn't it? This lady did a complete 180 and though you were still being sported by a fatty, all of the sudden it was a fatty that was moving... actually moving! Now your shiny, beautifulness is not so great, I no longer wear you to look sporty, it just serves a purpose. Your soles are wearing thin, there is mud on you from when I have ran in the rain and you are helping to change my life.
So Nike Free XT, thanks for your support, thanks for helping me to get moving.

Love,
A smaller fatty than when we started.
PS I'm sorry about the mud:)

Gotmyselfafill

My last appointment I weighed 228 (doctors scale is always 3 pounds heavier than mine.) Today I weighed 211! That is a loss of 17 pounds in 6 weeks. :) 

Love it! 

She put .5 in my band for a total of 9.2:) Love it! 

I need a fill

Lucky me, I have one scheduled for tomorrow! :) I'm really excited!
My Doc in Denver is retiring... so I've had to find a new one. Another, "luck me" a group of doctors in Vernal (my hometown) has started to offer Lap-Band services. My last fill was with her! She did awesome! She actually numbed me before she did the fill? It was weird, but whatever.

Anyway, I'll report back! Hopefully I'll be back to eating less.

Lorie

51%

51% on a test means you have failed. 51% of excess weight lost at my 5 month "band date" is nothing short of amazing... I say!
Only 49% left!

first friday weigh in

I weigh 209! I'm pretty excited about this .... I don't remember the last time the scale said this! Yahooo
Down 3 pounds from my last weigh.

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Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for the student that said "Miss Lorie, you are my favorite teacher." I've been coaching him to say this for 2 years... and today he said it spontaneously! :) YAHOOOOO! Ladies, you have no idea what it did to my heart! :)

Utah, Wyoming, Montana... and the Colorado.

Question: Could you leave this “high-tech” world and live a simpler life? I’m talking about living 100 miles from town, canning veggies, chopping wood, homeschooling my kids, the entire she-bang. What do you think? Could you do it?

Until about 5 days ago, I would have told you no way! Now, I seriously think that I could, that I would not only embrace it… but also thrive.

So, occasionally I think of something, and it surprises me. Then the thought of it, leads to a realization in another aspect of my life. As we are driving across some of the most beautiful country I've ever seen; were there aren't houses for miles and miles, and the land is exactly set up for raising cows and a few horses. A thought occurred to me, "when did my life become so focused on possessions?" Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy "I have to have this, or I have to have that" but, there is a part of me that is always saving money to buy the next thing. Working not one, but three jobs to make sure I have what I want. Don't get me wrong, it is by choice, and I don't live outside my means, but when did it become so important? 

I started to question all the things I've worked so hard for, and analyze if I could live without it, and why I don't.

Smartphone for instance, is it really important that I can Google something, or look at Facebook whenever I please? 

What about my car with leather seats, or my 300 pairs of shoes... many pairs of boots included.

Directv with DVR? I bet I don't watch 4 hours of TV a week.

THESE ARE JUST A FEW. 

Which brings me to the real point. What is all this stuff about? And if I could live without it, why don't I? 

Now the realization of this also brought on a realization about Colorado. See ladies, there are things I haven't told you. First, he lives in a camper, by choice. At first, I was ashamed to admit this to people. But after I had the above realization, I started to analyze why? Why does it bother me? What does it tell me about his character? Second, he doesn't have a smartphone, doesn't drive a new truck, and has debated over a month about getting a puppy, deciding that he doesn't have time for one. How does this entire thing tie together?

Well here it is:

I don’t believe that people are what they have. I think that true character goes deeper than that. So, if I truly believe this, why am I so worried about stuff? I’m deciding that I’m not going to be, that I’m going to be more than “what I have.” The truth? I like Colorado, I like his quirkiness, his opinionated attitude, his “take it or leave it” approach, and I like the simpleness in his life that he embraces.

Friends are important to Colorado, doing his job the best he can, being educated about the things around him… he actually cares about just about everything but what “possessions” he has.

I don’t know why Colorado and I have crossed paths, but I do know that I’ve learned things about myself because of him, and that I’ll always be grateful.

Moving weigh-in

I'm going to move my weigh- in day to Friday. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and since I missed my Monday weigh-in while at our fascinating cow sale in Montana.

~Lorie