Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Meet the baby!

I can’t believe that the last time I blogged I was 39 weeks pregnant. Where does the time go?

I did have a baby, but he did take his sweet time getting here.  12 days late.

He was born on 11/12/14, weighed 7 lbs 7oz and 21” long…. I’d like to say it was love at first sight, but you all know I always tell the truth here.

I thought that having a baby at 27 would be better than having a baby at 18; you know I’d just be more “ready.” I don’t know if that was the case or not. One thing I do know is that it was the biggest adjustment ever. And it hurt. The first time I went to pee, well that was hell. Guess what else; they give you a stool softener in the hospital. Do you know what happens when you have suffered from significant constipation since getting banded and then even more severe constipation while pregnant and then they give you a stool softener? Imagine having multiple bowl movements with stitches in your lady bits. It was as fun as you can imagine. I cried.

I didn’t just cry in the hospital, but I cried most days for the first few weeks. It was the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t go anywhere, I didn’t get enough sleep, my house was a mess….. And I didn’t know it, but I was suffering from depression. That was the key to all of this. Looking back now, I can recognize that I was depressed for my entire pregnancy and then after having PJ it just got worse.  My Mom went to the Dr with me and when he asked how I was and I replied “good.” My Mom told him the truth. I wasn’t. So, I am officially on an antidepressant and I haven’t felt this good in ages.  He told me that most likely I will only need it for a few months, but I am so glad to finally feel like myself again.

The best part? With the depression out of the way I finally fell in love with being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted PJ to be safe and I have always loved him, but when you don’t like yourself, it is hard to do much of anything that is positive. I hope that makes sense.

Meet PJM
9 weeks. 13 lbs 5 oz



  1. I love how honest you are. I think what you felt is so common but most new moms are afraid to admit it for fear of being judged. I just LOVE that you are real and open. And I love even more that you're doing better <3

  2. It makes total sense - and congratulations on that adorable boy! Like Hollee, I LOVE that you are open and that you (and your mom - yay mom!) got the help you needed. Enjoy that bundle of love <3

  3. A. So much adorable!! B. Bless you. I'm so glad that you are being honest and I think that would be helpful to so many new moms to know that they aren't alone. C. I'm so glad you got some help. Being happy is important and when your body can't do it chemically, you have to take charge.

    So great to hear from you!!!

  4. LOVED this post. Not only is the baby adorable, I'm glad you are finally doing well. :) It is hard trying to live up to the expecations you percieve everyone having and those crazy ones inside our heads. I thank you too for being honest. It is refreshing,

  5. btw- not calling you crazy! lol I just reread my post and I dind't mean to imply that at all. I just meant as new moms there is such pressure that we put on ourselves. If more people were honest about how hard, miserable you feel, and tiring parenthood is, it would be so freeing! Then we could focus on being a mom rather than feeling guilty :) Congrats again on a beautiful baby!

  6. You are not alone. I had post-partum as well and still am on antidepressants (my youngest is 7.5). It's okay. I've decided that. Congrats on a gorgeous baby and good luck with everything.

  7. That's EXACTLY how I felt after the boys were born, I'm so glad you were honest with yourself. <3

    Glad you're back!

  8. Yay!!! So happy to see you post again, and you know I love that honesty!