Meet the baby!

I can’t believe that the last time I blogged I was 39 weeks pregnant. Where does the time go?
 

I did have a baby, but he did take his sweet time getting here.  12 days late.

He was born on 11/12/14, weighed 7 lbs 7oz and 21” long…. I’d like to say it was love at first sight, but you all know I always tell the truth here.

I thought that having a baby at 27 would be better than having a baby at 18; you know I’d just be more “ready.” I don’t know if that was the case or not. One thing I do know is that it was the biggest adjustment ever. And it hurt. The first time I went to pee, well that was hell. Guess what else; they give you a stool softener in the hospital. Do you know what happens when you have suffered from significant constipation since getting banded and then even more severe constipation while pregnant and then they give you a stool softener? Imagine having multiple bowl movements with stitches in your lady bits. It was as fun as you can imagine. I cried.

I didn’t just cry in the hospital, but I cried most days for the first few weeks. It was the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t go anywhere, I didn’t get enough sleep, my house was a mess….. And I didn’t know it, but I was suffering from depression. That was the key to all of this. Looking back now, I can recognize that I was depressed for my entire pregnancy and then after having PJ it just got worse.  My Mom went to the Dr with me and when he asked how I was and I replied “good.” My Mom told him the truth. I wasn’t. So, I am officially on an antidepressant and I haven’t felt this good in ages.  He told me that most likely I will only need it for a few months, but I am so glad to finally feel like myself again.

The best part? With the depression out of the way I finally fell in love with being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted PJ to be safe and I have always loved him, but when you don’t like yourself, it is hard to do much of anything that is positive. I hope that makes sense.

Meet PJM
9 weeks. 13 lbs 5 oz