Trying to find my happy place

This is the first time since I started blogging that I just don't believe in myself...

For Real.

I know what I need to do to get out of the 170's.

1. Drink water and only water.

2. Don't eat M&M's for breakfast.

3. Move more.

I just am not.

Where is my warrior self?

Where is my motivation?

WIW

Last week: 178
This week: 179.2

Gain 1.2

I'm rolling with it because I am bloated and cranky and blah, blah, blah, blah!

I'll keeping up the battle.

I'm leaving for South Dakota on Saturday for a family vacation!

I LOVE SUMMER!

TTT

1. I literally had a bag of M&M's (peanut, gotta look out for protien) in my hand yesterday morning when I got a text from my friend Vanessa. I put them down and went the rest of the day "sugar free."

2. I am a bad ass warrior and so are my banded blogging friends.

3. Went running this morning. It was hot as heck already (9 o'clock) but I went 2 miles and felt alright.

4. I like to run. It is painful but I do like it.

5.  I have decided that I really enjoy about 5 days of the spring and 5 days of the fall... other than that, the weather is pretty miserable here in God's country. I still love it. I just can't imagine more bipolar weather. -30 to triple digits.... Ugh

6. I am on day two of the no sugar. I feel tired and lathargic. I'll beat this.

7.  Sugar is my addiction. I literally have written on my palm today "just don't." It is something I told myself the entire first year after being banded. The entire phrase is "I just don't eat like that anymore." It seems to work and assists in reminding me that I am a different, healthier person.

8. I will continue to improve myself. It isn't a race. I haven't ran out of time. I am not a failure. *mostly I am reminding myself.

9. I'm at my PT gig tonight. I have always loved this job, but some of the other people aren't doing their part and so it has kinda been a drag lately. :(

10. Things with Texas are going well. I met his mom and kids this week and we had a grand old time  

WIW

Last week: 174.2
This week: 178.2

Gain of: 4 pounds.

I expected it. I have been really active and on the go but I have also just been shovel crap food in my mouth!

I'm trying to drop the sugar today and see how that goes. I feel sluggish and icky, so it can't hurt!

Keep at it ladies!

Bucket list update

Porch painted.

This wouln't of happened (at least not this year) without Texas. He is a go getter. This is the porch he power washed.

Awesome-sauce! I love getting stuff done.

I also love that even though it is TOO FREAKING HOT outside, I am not miserable like I was when I weighed 277 pounds. That was misery. :) I hope that I never forget what it felt like to be trapped in a body that just couldn't do what I wanted it to.

:)

Remember these?

My 2013 goals...  An update. 

1. No new clothes until I am at goal weight- anything 145 or lower. Screwed this up... a few times. :) 
2. Run 6 races, doesn't matter the length or the difficulty. Just get out there and race. Signed up for a bike race, dropped out. That is how I roll.  
3. Weigh 145 by my 2 year bandiversary. I've got 5 months to lose 30 pounds. *Totally doable.* (Nods to self.) FAILED. Not giving up, but this one didn't happen. Amending to say by 3 year bandiversary. :) 
4. Make exercise something I just do. I have been active, but formal exercise has not been a priority. 
5. Get married. We will see. Not out of the question. 
6. Pay off my surgery loan. Pay off car. (I switched to car because the interest rate is higher.)I KILLED THIS! I had two years worth of payments on my car and I paid that bad boy off last month. This will be my first month since I was 17 without a car payment! Happy-happy! (6/02/13) 
7. Get a treadmill at my house. NO EXCUSES. (-13 this morning at 7:45, too stinking cold.) Sucking at this! :)