Monday, August 8, 2011

Bottom of the barrel/ cream of the crop?

My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.
It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.
"Your happily ever after"

I have a very dear friend...( we are recently acquainted but it was one of those friendships that immediately took off!) We were having this discussion about dating. How it is so easy to have a one sided relationship (i.e. for one person to be more committed then another, or for one person to confuse "hanging out" and "dating.") We also talked about how as women we have a tendency to drop everything for a boy... boy calls; girl suddenly has no plans for the evening.
So our debate was; why do we act so desperate? Why do we feel like we are the "leftovers?" Like all of the good women were married when they were 18-20 leaving the rest of us to scrape together what we could find. Is this the truth? Are we the women that our Heavenly Father wouldn't dare force a son of his to spend Eternity with? (I know this isn't true, please understand my facetious nature.)
I recently experienced heartache... all the more pronounced because it was entirely one sided; leaving me with the heart break and him with a new "girl." (Cuz when a heartbreaks it don't break even. ~The Script) Like every time I become heart sick the following happened.
1. I was grumpy for a day or two... barking at every person within ear shot.
2. Emotionally Constipated (Ambers words, not mine... but accurate.)
3. then the self destruction starts with the following personal attack.
a. I must NOT be tall enough, pretty enough, smart enough, educated enough, spiritual enough, funny enough, outgoing enough, forward enough, SKINNY enough.
b. I must BE to loud, to outgoing, to moody, to forward, etc.
4. And always "What did I do?"

At the end of the "post break up week" I'm left feeling like the bottom of the barrel.
So what is the truth of this? TRUTH:
When I look around at the BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG, TALENTED, SPIRITED, FAITHFUL, CARING, SERVING, young adults. We all have amazing potential. I refuse to act like i'm the bottom of the barrel, like I have to take whichever dork comes along; drop everything; be perfect, so that I might FINALLY catch someone. Truth? I'll stay alone FOREVER before I settle for "maybe we can be happy together."