Tuesday, June 10, 2014

19 weeks preggo and finally....

Finding my mojo.

Seriously, I had to find my new norm.

What it is like for ME to be pregnant.

You wanna know what? It is the strangest thing ever.

I don't feel like myself. I don't have energy for much of anything. My house is kinda clean, but I am just getting by.

I'll get up and go like heck for a couple of hours and then I just have to take a break.

I'm learning to be kind to myself and to just take a break when I need it.

I am functioning, but it isn't at the level that it has been previously.

I always thought that when I was pregnant if I was lucky enough to escape the dreaded morning sickness, that I would be golden.

You know what? I had a bit of morning sickness but that hasn't been the biggest issue.

I just don't feel right. Like myself.

Even my brain doesn't work right. The biggest issue has been when I am riding a horse and working cattle. I just can't figure out exactly what I am supposed to be doing, or how to get out of the way.

I'm not saying I don't know how to saddle the horse, or get on. I just saying that my natural talents and abilities seem to be muted. We were working in the corral the other day and I dang near got ran over because I couldn't read the crazy one horn cow that was going ape-shit crazy.

I'm going to go ahead and admit, I don't like being pregnant.

One thing I finally did for my own sanity was pack up all my clothes that don't fit. An entire tote full and put them away.

The second thing is some real life maternity clothes. IT CHANGED EVERYTHING. At least I don't feel like a frump and like a fatty that nothing fits. I kinda look pregnant and I feel better about myself.

One thing I do know, I can't wait to get back to running and crosffit. I miss being fit and "skinny" just feeling great about myself.

Size 9/10 and 11/12 jeans and a large shirt and become my new norm. Being physically active had become something I just did and enjoyed. I'll get back there because I got a taste of it and I like it.

Right now it just isn't a reality.

This morning 209. It is what it is and I'm going to keep weighing in just to keep myself in check and so that it isn't such a mental shock when I get to "the end."

I'll be posting pictures of the furniture I have painted! It looks great and is all coming together.


  1. I'm gaining sympathy weight with you and the only thing in my belly is a burrito and some cookies...
    Keep blogging!!!

  2. I know what you mean - I HATED being pregnant. I wasn't one of those wussy heffas either. I carted around my little ones like a boss and never complained. These women who constantly coddle themselves and don't eat all types of shit (like lunch meat)? That's weird to me.

    Glad to hear you're still doing things!

    And maternity clothes make ALL THE DIFFERENCE!

  3. Pregnancy Brain is a REAL thing! Good for you for packing up the clothing and doing the maternity clothing...it does make a difference.

    I with Vanessa and have some sympathy gain for ya too! UGH!