Again... again... again...

This girl

decided to party like a RockStar Skinny Girl this weekend.

Eating and drinking whatever she wanted.

Including Sunkist and snickers for breakfast.

What the hell?

Then Monday morning I step on the scale and see 182... anything in the 180's is an "oh heck" number for me. It sets me into panic. The panic was slow coming this moring and so I binged on chocolate and chips while I worked on paper work and beat myself up about the weekend, because that makes sense.

So as my friend Cat wrote Another "back on the wagon" post.

So I'm back on the wagon. I know, I know, you are probably sick of reading them. Well I'm sick and tired of writing them, but I guess as long as I struggle I will write them. I just can't give up. My health is too important. My new found freedom from obesity too sweet.

Onwards. I want the 160's so bad. Come on Lorie, pull it together.

WIW

Last week: 179.6
This week: 177.6

2 pound loss.. I did absolutely nothing to earn the loss. In fact after last weeks weight and having worked pretty hard that week and still gone up, I kinda tossed my "I give a shit" out the window. Look where that got me- 2 pound loss... at least this week. I know from the past that it won't continue to be a loss if I continue to eat crap food.

I know, I know, stop shoveling.

I'm trying.

I'm always talking about getting back to the 160's. I guess I'm just not doing my part.

We will see where the next week takes me.

The start of the naked diet

So, I got engaged. I know, I know, old news... the thing is, I haven't got around to sharing the story.

Or the ring picture.

Or an engagment picture.

You know, the important stuff.

We got officially engaged on September 7th, 2013.

But I get ahead of myself.

I'm pretty particular about stuff. I like to be organized and make plans. If there is going to be a "do nothing day" or "free time" that is fine. As long as it is on the schedule.

I don't think I am "that bad." hehehe I just like to have an idea of the general outline.

So when it came to The Ring, I had already made it in my mind. Had already fell in love with it.

The problem was, I'm not a jewlery wearer. I don't own any other rings and don't have my eye on an upgrade anywhere in the future. So this is The Ring and it'll stay forever.

So setting Texas out on his own was setting him up for failure.

So see, I was just being fair.

The second problem was, I have a different idea of what I consider "reasonably priced" or "a good deal." Remember, school teacher here, than Texas does.

So I got a few estimates to have The Ring made. They weren't anything I was EVER GOING TO SPEND. So high that I was falling out of love with The Ring and had almost decided that I could love something else more (I know, I was in denial.) I just had to wear something more reasonably priced so that I wouldn't feel like throwing up everytime I looked at it and rememebered what it cost. (Please remember, this was my budget. I don't want you all sending Texas hate mail. In his mind there wasn't much of a budget.... just pretty and perfect.)

Then I remembered my good friend from schools Dad builds jewlery on the side. So I tracked down his number and scheduled a get together. Without Texas. I just needed to get my head around the details, around the price with out him pressuring me. :)

Well this guy totally hooked me up. I'm pretty sure he couldn't have made a dime and when I got the qoute, I about fell of my chair. The Ring was within my grasp again. Minus the upset stomach.

Are you ready to see it. ***As a side note my ring was a size 9-9.5 when I started this journey. Now it is a 6.***

The Ring.

Perfect.

So how did he ask?

Well it took FOREVER to get the ring done. Or what seemed like forever :) ha ha

Before the ring was done, I already had my pretty white dress... bought and home.

Before the ring we had already had engagement pictures. Wanna see one?

I.
Knew.
It.

This one is going on the announcement. I just couldn't pass it up.

So now we are to September 7th. We are leaving to go to a football game 2.5 hours away.

And The Ring Maker calls.

The ring is done.

Balls.

No prior warning. :)

So I basically tell Texas he has to go pick it up.

As we are driving I keep telling Texas random things like...

"I always wanted to get engaged under this bridge."

and

"county road 342, now that is a romantic spot."

or

"I can pull over while you get down on one knee."

So 4 hours after he picked up the ring.

During the biggest rainstorm I have ever seen. (Raining buckets.)

Sitting in my paid for Ford Fusion.

I basically forced Texas to give me "The Ring."

I couldn't wait any longer.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

We aren't the kind that is packing each other flowers, or writing poetry.

Besides, at least he knows what he is getting himself into, and he likes it!!

Another engagement picture, just because:

I am so happy I could just run around with a stupid smile on my face.

Oh, so the naked diet part... I almost forgot. You would think getting engaged would make a girl kick start the diet/exercise. I guess the number one thing I have learned, is that there is something so amazing about knowing The Guy finds you attractive and loves you. Extra 30 pounds and forced proposals.. the whole shEbang.

WIW

Last week: 178.6
This week: 179.6

That's a gain of 1 pound.

I have actually been pretty on point this last week and lots of added exercise, so I'm calling it a win even if the whore of a scale isn't.

I ate a bit more yesterday than I have all week because my band finally opened up a bit after all the rain we have been having. She is pretty temperamental old bitty and hates the weather changes.

I'm keeping at it. 159 by Christmas!

Weigh in Wednesday

Start weight: 277
Last week: 178
This week: 178

Total loss: 99

Low- 162... this is an elusive number.

I did accomplish something big today, I made it to work without stopping for a Sprite and without eating a donut.

I'm calling it a win.

Talk about being  slow learner. I couldn't figure out why all I wanted to do in the mornings (I was obsessing about it) was stop and get a Sprite. With a straw and a bunch of ice.

What was different this year than had been for the past two school years? Before I only had a Sprite occasionally, as a treat, and then I'd move on.

Well I finally figured it out, before I had ALWAYS grabbed two bottles of water and drank one while I was getting ready and one while I was driving to school.

The key for me is to drink WATER before I get thirsty, not wait until I am thirsty. When I have that "I'm thirsty feeling" I always want to drink a Sprite, it is my first thought and I just can't seem to get past it.

So, Lorie, drink water when you first wake up. Check.

I'm taking a number from Vanessa and being kind to myself. Taking baby steps.

Texas and I went for a ride on the road bikes last night and had so much fun!

11.2.13 A good day for a wedding

I’m going to marry my best friend on November 2^nd.

We officially got engaged on Saturday, September 7^th and I am telling you I was/am so excited!

I’ve been through a string of bad first dates and not understanding even for a second what people meant when they said “I’m dating my best friend” or “I’m marrying my best friend.”  Well you see I have been dating for 10 years, and had no reason to believe that one day it would all work out. At 26, I had lost faith in the male gender and believed all the good ones were taken.

I will admit, I thought ‘they’ were foolish and crazy. Mostly I thought ‘they’ were lying.

Then over the course of couple months “this guy” kept popping up at the motel I worked at. Calling in to make reservations, random conversations about his full name and his amazing ability to remember details, borrowing my charger for his iPad, and then one day the “phone number” exchange.

After the first date I thought, where did this guy come from?

After the second I thought, he can’t always be this nice.

After the third, I decided never to see him again. Because I was afraid, I didn’t want to let him in and I sure didn’t want him to know that he could hurt me.

Texas discovered walls I didn’t even know I had built.

I went out with him again and tried to stop seeing him multiple times after that.

The problem was he never reacted the way I expected him to. The way he was supposed to.

His reactions were full of kindness and a need to understand.

When we ran head first into walls that were built because others had treated me so badly, he never got angry, he never said it wasn’t fair or reacted in a way that made me feel ashamed of how I was feeling.

It is always ok to feel whatever I am feeling and to talk about it. Then talk about it again if I need to.

You see, I think I just KNEW he was something special. Knew that I was going to fall in love and that one day I would wake up and realize I had been foolish again. I thought I would one day realize that he wasn’t what I thought he was.

Until Texas, I had never known what it meant to be treated like I was loved by someone I was dating.

Before Texas I didn’t know what it was like to be respected, appreciated… I didn’t know that I had never dated someone who was kind to me.

He is so kind.

I consider Texas one of the biggest blessings that ever came into my life.  The timing was definitely a tender mercy.

The night he asked my Dad if he could marry me my  Dad came inside, gave me a hug, said; “congratulations.”

Then he said the thing that has stuck out the most to me. It was like a light bulb went off for me and my World tilted to the side.

He said “he was worth the wait, wasn’t he.”

It was a statement, not a question and it was definitely true.

This is the only picture (besides of the ring) I have of us from the day of the proposal. I'm saving the ring picture for the engagement story. :) To be delivered soon!

We went to the Texas vs BYU football game! It rained buckets... just for the record. I was a trooper. Best Girlfriend  FIANCE' Ever! :)

Two donuts for breakfast...

Randomly on a Tuesday morning I stop at a local bakery and get two donuts for breakfast...

My question is, why two?

Who is this girl?

What is her thought process?

I'm at school now and brought good things to eat, so I am hoping to get on track and stay on track the rest of the day!