A few months ago (I can't remember when, exactly) Lap Band Gal posted about how she exercised not because she was training for something, or trying to "get somewhere" but, because she wanted to be healthy. (I'm probably stretching it, but that is what I remember.)
Which leads me to how I've decided to cancel my first scheduled 1/2 marathon, at least for now.
Now, as you all know, I am seriously opposed to excuses. So, I'm not making any, but If you are interested in my rationale, please read the following paragraph.
First, read this about running: Hey, Fat Girl
A little over a year ago I started a journey to become a healthier, skinnier, Lorie. With that came a dedication to moving and living more. During this journey I have discovered a love for running, pushing my body across the pavement. I like what it does for my mind and how at the end of each run I feel like I've done something impossible, something I N-E-V-E-R thought I'd be able to do. With this love came the thought that I should race. So I signed up for a 1/2 marathon.
As I've continued my 1/2 marathon training I've learned that when I finish a 5 mile run @ my typical 11:30 pace I am disappointed in myself. I should have went farther/faster! I started beating myself up about not being good enough. I've forgotten that 1 year ago I was running for only 45 seconds before needing a break. This combination of disappointment in my running, and the fact that of the 14 days since summer vacation started I have spent 10 of those on the back of a horse for hours , up to 10, a day and when you ride that long you shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to run too. I'm saying that for my health and sanity I will not (for now) be running a 1/2 marathon.
** I can't even explain to you the difference in how it feels to ride a horse for that many hours, compared to how it felt 110 pounds ago. I LOVE MY BAND!
In a way I am disappointed in myself, but proud too. Proud that I want to continue to love running, to love exercise for the rest of my life and I'm not willing to compromise that for a race.