Round is a shape...

It is easier to get in shape when you have already done it, or already are.

I really believe that.

When I first started working out I had no idea what I was doing. I had never been to a class, didn't have the shoes, didn't have a thing I needed.

Mostly I didn't have the tools, or the friends.

This time around, it is easier.

I've only truly been back at the grind for about 1 week and already I've been invited to train for a Ragnar. You can read about my first experience here. I ran into my Crossfit coach and she invited me to come back to a class.... You can read about my first experience with that here. I was terrified.

See, all these things that were so HARD so INTIMIDATING before have already been done. These are familiar waters.

Ladies, it is a good day to be alive.

Tonight is Roller Derby night. Living a life no longer intimidating.

 

I'm gonna need a tat!

Today I am winning the fight.

How good it feels to be trying to get healthy.

I mean seriously, why do I forget?

I went home on Wedensday and got on the treadmill (I wish I had a picture of my running clothes. EEK, not good.)

I always have this thought that I have to start at the beginning. Like I am always going back to 277 pounds. It wasn't, I could run for a couple minutes and then walk. It felt so good.

I've been, what I consider, on point with my food and I'm using my lapband as a tool again. I'm not sure I would know what to do without it.

I've forgot what confidence comes with taking charge of my health. I'm so glad to be working on myself.

It isn't about being where I was, it is about feeling the way I felt. Does that make sense? I'm focusing more on the feelings and enjoying the moments instead of what the scale reads. I have faith that the scale will follow.

I was starting to turn down things, refuse to do things that I like because of how big I was becoming again. Today I am winning the fight.

My new piercing (still swollen.) I think it is so cute!

My new glasses and my post run face!

Christmas present and proof that I got moving!

Tuesday Newsday

Mini goal for the week is to exercise 30 minutes 3 times a week.

Next week my mini goal will be trying out a local roller derby team. They are doing a Fresh Meat Boot camp. I'm pretty dang excited. I can't find any of my regular peeps that are willing to give it a shot, so I'm going at this one alone....unless I can get my sister to try it out. I don't know why a person would want to give it a roll.

I also got a new treadmill for Christmas and haven't used it one time. I'm cutting myself some slack because I did just have a baby. I'll be getting on it tonight for a 30 minutes of walking, possibly some jogging.

Last Tuesday's weight: 222.6
This week: 220.6

Loss of 2 pounds.

Start weight: 277

Lowest recorded weight: 162 (Holy Shit....)

I am doing so good and getting adjusted to my new life.

Post about me

So where am I? I'm here... back to work and finding a balance between being a mom and being a teacher. It is working out.

Right before I had PJ I weighed 246 pounds. This morning I weighed in at 222.6.  So, I have a long ways to go.

Here is a picture of me in a sweater I hope fits soon...

 

It is tight and you can see where the weight gain has happened, but I don't look terrible.

 

I will also be updating my goal list. There is just something rewarding about crossing things off of a list for me!

 

 

Meet the baby!

I can’t believe that the last time I blogged I was 39 weeks pregnant. Where does the time go?
 

I did have a baby, but he did take his sweet time getting here.  12 days late.

He was born on 11/12/14, weighed 7 lbs 7oz and 21” long…. I’d like to say it was love at first sight, but you all know I always tell the truth here.

I thought that having a baby at 27 would be better than having a baby at 18; you know I’d just be more “ready.” I don’t know if that was the case or not. One thing I do know is that it was the biggest adjustment ever. And it hurt. The first time I went to pee, well that was hell. Guess what else; they give you a stool softener in the hospital. Do you know what happens when you have suffered from significant constipation since getting banded and then even more severe constipation while pregnant and then they give you a stool softener? Imagine having multiple bowl movements with stitches in your lady bits. It was as fun as you can imagine. I cried.

I didn’t just cry in the hospital, but I cried most days for the first few weeks. It was the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t go anywhere, I didn’t get enough sleep, my house was a mess….. And I didn’t know it, but I was suffering from depression. That was the key to all of this. Looking back now, I can recognize that I was depressed for my entire pregnancy and then after having PJ it just got worse.  My Mom went to the Dr with me and when he asked how I was and I replied “good.” My Mom told him the truth. I wasn’t. So, I am officially on an antidepressant and I haven’t felt this good in ages.  He told me that most likely I will only need it for a few months, but I am so glad to finally feel like myself again.

The best part? With the depression out of the way I finally fell in love with being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted PJ to be safe and I have always loved him, but when you don’t like yourself, it is hard to do much of anything that is positive. I hope that makes sense.

Meet PJM
9 weeks. 13 lbs 5 oz

 

39 weeks

So, I'm finally 39 weeks pregnant.

It seems the time has flown and stood still. All at once.

I have spent the last few weeks scrambling to get everything finished at work and making sure that all the ends are tied up so that they can function without bothering me for the 8 weeks I will be gone.

I have held steady at 235 pounds for over a month now. That is up 46 pounds from the 189 I weighed when I got pregnant. I won't be dwelling on the fact that 189 was HIGH for what my maintenance weight was. Oh man, I swear I will love the 170's and my body like never before when I finally get back there.

I had a dream the other night that I ran 8 miles. It was so real. The burn in my lungs and the weight of my legs. I woke up sad that I had become such a sloth.

I will be a warrior again. It will just take time. I'm not going to allow obesity to become a part of my life again. I just can't.

38 plus weeks.

38 weeks.

Last year my sister and sister in law were pregnant. This year, my sister in law and myself are preggers. So stinking cute!

 

 

So, I think I'm pretty dang cute pregnant. I also think it is amazing what our bodies can do! Can you believe that cute belly is carrying a human? It is seriously is amazing.

 

I think I have learned to be comfortable in my body. To love myself no mater the size, but I will not stay this size. I can't. It is too hard on my joints. On my body. I found the freedom of my body being able to do anything I want it to do. Now that I have had  taste of it, I won't be content until there again.

The post about geting a van

First off has anyone talked to Hollee? I know she was revised to the sleeve last week and I talked to her after surgery and the next day or two, but now she seems to be off the grid.


I've been in denial for months about trading in my beloved Ford Fusion (beloved, mostly because she was paid for and I LOVE not having a car payment.) I've been telling myself that I could fit all three car seats and the dogs in that car. The logistics of it weren't really in my favor, but I figured where there is a will, there is a way.

Not so in this case. They just don't fit. The car seats, not even including the dogs. Bust seriously, who can leave home without having room to take their dogs if it is a dog appropriate trip. Which is almost anywhere, in my opinion.

So, I told my husband that we should just go ahead and get a van. I need something with good MPG but my heart just wasn't in it. You know? I think that is why it took me so long to finally just bite the bullet.

This was my alternative to a van....

not my car, just an example from the internet.

 

Not too shabby, in my opinion. I know it is a little unique, and not everyone's taste, but I have been in love with them since they first came out. They seat 7 and get 17-23 MPG. Basically a van without having to go there. Thank the heavens.

 

Now we are a car payment poorer, but at least I won't be stuck at home unable to leave when this baby gets here in 6 weeks. Can't be sad about that.

 

Haven't gained any weight in the last month and I am so grateful for that. No other band related news. Just chillin here in Gods Country!

 

How are you ladies doing?