Chocolate...

It doesn't solve the problem, it makes it worse.

Seems I forget that frequently.

One small victory

At a time.

One good choice.
One chocolate covered pretzel spit out.
One glass of water drank when head hunger set in.


This all happened today.

I am all suited up for my turn at the Crossfit box.

I don't want to go, I don't want to eat well today.

BUT

I am.
I am pushing through until my good decisions stack up to show real progress.
I am pushing until the sugar deamon goes to sleep.
I am pushing forward.

What battle did you win today?

Look at that...

Average sized girl...

Where did she come from? And why does my brain still tell me that I am huge? That outfit is adorable:) I have great taste.

 (I'm not sure I love the boots with the dres... hindsight.)

The wedding was a great time!

TTT

1. I am so stinking tired... all the time. I think this time change has kicked my butt, big time!

2. I am not teaching school tomorrow! I am going to get up early and play cowboy with my favorite people, CrossFit, then some pamper time in prep for the ol' wedding!

3. We are getting around 30 baby calves a day... ahhh! I love spring. I will get a picture tomorrow and then I will share! My sister also has a mare that is getting ready to foal! ahhh!

4. I got a "new" dog this week. Someone my Sister knows is moving and couldn't take the dog, so she has found a new home at my house. She is settling in well and I already love her! I will post pictures of her tomorrow too! Also, Gracie Lou Freebush went to the groomer today and she looks like a million bucks! I say if I am going to pamper myself tomorrow I might as well give the girl a little pampering!

5. I have new muscles everywhere thanks to Crossfit! I can't wait until more of the fat starts to melt away....

6. When I started this journey, I just knew I wanted to be skinny. That and getting healthier is all that mattered. Ooooo! I so have a knew goal now.I want to lift heavy. I want to have muscles everywhere (not body builder ladies, I am pretty sure you have to take hormone injections to get like that... just sayin') but this journey is now about being ripped, playing hard, knowing that whatever the day throws at me, I will be able to kick in the butt!

7.  Did I mention I am tired?

8. I am jealous of Rockband Barbie and so excited for her!

9. I am also jealous of Vanessa the Banded Warrior and her vacation plans!

10. Is it Summer yet? :)

Keepin' it real...

Weighed in today...

SMASHING 185. No joke.

20 pounds up from my lowest.

It made my heart drop.

I can't say I didn't know it was coming, I did.

I ate just about 2 bags of Cadburry Mini eggs...all by myself this weekend.

Gross.

I owned up to it this morning, and I was going to just lurk around in the dark corners of blog land until I got it back under control.. you know hide from myself and all of you because I was ashamed of myself.

Then I read a couple of the post from other ladies... Example Robyn's Nest, Mari, and Jen who all came clean today. Just put it out there, they inspired me. I am not disappointed in them, or thinking they should be doing better. I am just proud that they are continuing to fight the battle.

So here I am confessing. Owning up to the damage I have done. To the garbage I have been shoveling into my mouth.

It is Monday night and I have had a smashing day with food and exercise. I am not giving up, just resetting.

TTT

1. Man I have been out of the blogging loop, still reading but not blogging. I kinda fell off the wagon for a bit but I am driving the sucker again now.

2. My Sister is getting married next weekend (23) can't wait for the party and all the fun stuff that goes with it. I am going to get a spray tan and my nails done.... ahh! Maybe we should have a wedding every six months ALWAYS!

3. I registered for the Goldilocks bike race with my sister in law 40 miles of good time... and the jersey's are adorable. I will have to spend the 65 dollars and get one of those!

4. I officially have a Crossfit shirt! Who is a badass? bahahahaha

6. My weight is still up and down and all over the place. I am working on it.. Can't wait until the damn Cadburry mini eggs are off the shelf. This is really the only time of year that I really struggle walking past candy. I just can't seem to talk myself off the ledge.

7. The weather is finally starting to warm up around here. 40 degrees feels awesome! Makes me want to get outside and run and bike... I will need to find a way to get to my Crossfit and my other obessions. Seriously, why can't I just play all day?

8. I learned last night at Crossfit that there is a reason that adults don't do somersaults... my shoulder is bruised to all heck, and I just don't bruise very easily.

9. My Mom is fighting the good fight right now and giving up caffeine! I am so proud of her! 

10. Wanna see what it looks like when you only make 61 of your 63 24" box jumps? My first Crossfit/workout wound! Feel like a Dragon Warrior. Hurt like a beast!~

Keep kicking butt ladies! It is a long fight, but it is a good one!

Weekend~ Parites!

Friday night was a bust... except for the killer Crossfit workout, that was awesome. Food was a bust.

Today we are having my sisters bridal shower! Gotta love a good party!

Then Saturday is a friends birthday party!

I plan on getting a run in on the tredmill tonight and then taking a rest day on Sunday.

I've been denying it, but my knee is kinda messed up, might need to go have it checked out by the doctor.  I am kinda afraid she will tell me that I need to give it time off, ugh.

There is snow on the ground. I sure thought we were kinda done with that business. I hope the sun comes out and melts it all quickly.

Wednesday- weigh in

Wanna know something?

I like the things I can be in control of.

I like control my environment.

When I can't be in control, I basically want to abandon the entire process... Sound distructive? It really is.

I will continue to work on that, and I am making improvements.

Thanks Vanessa for talking me off the ledge today.

Scale read 178.8 this morning... not bad. It is headed down and I am sore as heck from my workout.

Nothing like a good workout to get your head on straight.

Because I am just that awesome!

Let me tell you about the workout from hell tonight that caused me to say words that no lady mutters... alright... I may say them on a regular basis.

The warm up went like this....

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
Burpees
Situps

Oh ya, you are guessing right. 10 burpees, 10 situps, 9 burpees, 9 situps... well you get the freaking idea. The point was to do it as quickly as possible for time.
Took me 8 min.

Then we did some "mobility" which just means stretching like you never imaginied.

Then an 8 min AMRAP (as many rounds as possible)

6 medicine ball cleans (20 pounds)
8 Push presses (65 pounds)
12 20" box jumps

Now this is the part where I become awesome... When you do a workout just like it written on the "board" then you Rx it or "do it just liked it was prescribed."

Well ladies I FREAKING DID it tonight. I made it through 3 rounds and 6 reps into the next round...

I RX'd that WOD!

My friend The Warrior reminded us today that most people don't complete their journey in a striaght line without detours and pitfalls! How true is that!

I don't wann either... 181.4

That last 10 pound gain was real....

I tried to excuse it and say it wasn't a real gain... must be water... or muscle... anything..

Nope. Two Mondays in a row have read the same way.

Time to get real.

I will not go up one more pound!

Happy Monday ladies!

I like it at night...

I worked out on a Saturday, in the morning. 

Call the President and see if he has postmarked my Medal Of Awesomeness. 

Seriously. 

I like to workout.

I've even decided I love the pain that is Crossfit.

I know I love the mental stability that running gives me. It is something like therapy for me to put one foot in front of the other and pound my troubles out on the pavement. 

That is, when I do them in the evening. Now I am aware of the pitfalls of waiting until evening to workout, and all of the "reasons" and excuses I can come up with to skip out on it. 

What I do is just put it on my calendar and commit. It isn't something on my schedule that is "flexible" or "optional" if something better comes up. It is like an important meeting, something that isn't optional.

If I work out early in the morning I actually lose sleep over it. I toss and turn all night, watching the clock, DREADING IT! 

Exercise isn't punishment to me, and I do everything I can to make it enjoyable. 

That includes not doing it in the morning. 

When is your favorite time of day to workout? 

What type?